When Words Fail
by PlatinumRosewood
Summary: When a freak accident leaves Naomi Campbell responsible for fixing the mess in the crippling life of Emily Fitch, she must decide if she is striving for redemption, or possibly something more. First Fanfic, plot twist inevitable.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Right well this is my first story and I might actually be shitting my pants posting this... Big big big shout out to SuperGirl for helping me grow a pair and get the story out there. First chapter or so is background and setting the scene but things pick up dramatically. Also I'm American so if I miss something, don't stone me. Reviews/critiques are entirely welcome but please _please_ be gentle. I'm a baby to the writing world...On with it then!**

_I don't own skins but I wish I did. all mistakes are entirely mine._

When Words Fail

Ch1

Christ. How the fuck is anyone even alive this early? It'll be the first day back at this glorified shithole of a college and I've barely had enough time to wake up this morning. I had no intention of rolling in on time but my mother, being her bloody chipper self at the crack of fucking dawn, took it upon herself to start off her day by ruining mine. I lost count how many times she came to my room, dangerously close to losing that hand knocking at the door every 5 minutes, until I threatened to tear up her garden out back if she did it again.

I glanced at the clock and internally cringed. I would have absolutely no time to get my coffee and, fuck, was I going to feel it. The only time I ever rolled out of bed without coffee was getting up around mid-afternoon, and let it be known that today was not the case. Nearly falling out of bed, I slumped over to the shower and washed the sleep away, letting the beads of steam spike my nerves, feeling slightly more awake once finished. I rushed through getting ready, grabbing something remotely decent, and with a few lines of make up, I stumbled out the door with my bike at my side. _First day impressions, my arse._

It was overcast as the clouds threatened to break out at any moment. Bloody English weather. Would it be too hard to get some sun for once? Felt like a fucking vampire these days. I knew I had a surly look for not even starting the day yet, but whatever. Not my problem. I hopped off the bike after an unenthusiastic ride, staring daggers at anyone who glanced my way as I trudged up the front steps.

Right. Let's get this done.

Doug's voice boomed through the doors with a far too cheery "Welcome back to Roundview! Have a great first day back! Ogie Ogie Ogie!" I gave an eyeroll to make my mother proud at the damned crowds and the ridiculous pep-talk (if one can even be half-arsed to call it that) before I made my way to the lockers. The small hope to get through the day uneventfully was quickly dashed as a large pair of arms swooped around me from nowhere. It registered that I was no longer on the ground before a voice bellowed in my ear.

"NAOMIKINS!" I was spun around once before set down to see that ridiculously giddy smile. Fucking Cook. Clearly shitfaced before 10, the beer reeked on his breath.

"For fuck's sake Cook, can't even let me through the door before trying to get your dick damp?!"

He roared with laughter despite my best scowl. I swear. More often than I believe I'd ever willingly but up with, he made me want to rip my hair out. The boy was basically a walking, (not doubt dirty) talking sex machine that still managed a charming boyish smile despite his vulgarity. I'd never admit it but underneath that sex-fueled tosser mask of a bitch, James Cook was like a brother to me.

At a glance, he looked like a party boy. Drinking, drugs, and sex. But I've seen him when he was down. Trampled on. He just wanted more than anyone else. To try and live a little bit harder than anyone else. And when his life included his sparse but real friends, the protection he gave in turn was astounding. But Cook would never admit it, and the smell of his pint was sickening me at the moment, so I quickly wiped the tug of a smile creeping up on my face.

"Aw babe, no worries, you'll get ya rumble with the cookie monster soon enough."

He wiggled his eyebrows and I gave him a shove, hiding my smirk again at the damn charming grin reserved only for his best mates. Although not right now, I was thrilled to be so close with the lad. Our playfulness was short-lived as another voice came in.

"Too bad for you, Cook, it's not cock she wants. Is it now..._babe_?"

I flared in anger. I was just fine bickering with him on my own without a commentary from some other bitch. Wait..._what_ did she say?! What the _fuck_ is that supposed to mean? Who the h-

Shit.

Her blue eyes appeared behind him and she had that knowing smirk on, like always. Elizabeth Stonem, as I live and breathe. Why am I not even surprised at this. I'd like to say long time no see, but it would seem forever is too soon. No one understands her fucking cryptic riddles anyway. Whatever, just because I haven't gotten any lately doesn't make me fucking gay. Shallow-ended hypocrites and their pathetic labels. All anyone seems to do nowadays. Dickwads, the lot of them. Not that it was true. Not at all, not a bit. Me, cock-cruncher, not muff-muncher.

Besides she doesn't know me, we don't even talk. Not that she seems to do much of that either. She made me freeze though, she did with everyone. Looking straight in your head, her smirk would practically scream, 'Go on. Lie to me, I dare you. I want to see this.' I gave a discreet grumble and glared at her. I could try and deny it but she wouldn't say anything anyway, just staring back with those damned steel blue eyes and a twitch on her lips. No use wasting my breath, even though it wasn't true.

Jesus Christ, it's too fucking early for this. Cook, knight in shining armor that he is, caught the tension pretty fast, and chuckled easily, "Nah Eff, once she get's a look at mine, she'll be screaming my name _every_ night."

"Shame no one wants a go at your Crayola dick, James." She replied coolly, before she sauntered off looking utterly bored. If there are words to describe Elizabeth Stonem, I swear they have yet to be made. Torrential Bitch comes to mind. Then again so does Vindictive Ally.

Perhaps even Barricaded. Anyway.

Cook turned to me with a devilish grin and remarked, "Oi, no worries babe, when I get my hands on _that_ one," pointing over his shoulder to her, "I'll let you join in. Well worth it for a look at those-"

"Cook! Time to fuck off, yeah?!" I said, exasperated. He chuckled.

"One day you'll be begging for it...later then." He was staring at some poor blondes arse, head swiveling as her hips rolled by, before he even finished talking. I scoffed and walked away. Great. It's only been ten minutes and I was already sick of this place.

I sighed, mentally surrendering all effort seeing as the day hadn't even begun, and pulled out a crumpled sheet. I gave it a glance as I walked before finding what I needed and shoving back in my blue shoulder bag. I had my eyes glued to the wall ticking each locker with a tap of my nail. 693...675... series of numbers floated by until I caught the one I needed. Here we are, 651.

I looked down briefly to glance at a combination on the sheet in my bag when a splash of red caught the corner of my eye, not two steps away.

_Oh fuck._

A small girl faced away from me, burrowing through her yellow bag balancing a cup between the two hands. She was in a blue plaid top and black skinnies, some dark grey flats, that all paled under her bright, cherry red hair falling in waves. No leopard print only meant one thing.

Emily Fitch.

I wanted nothing more than to turn on the spot and walk away with some shred of dignity still intact. But, Jesus, it had to happen sometime. I drew in a shaky breath, scolding myself for being such a child. New year, new attitude, right? ...Right? (of course I'm fucking right Jesus...) I turned to face her and cleared my throat to make myself known.

She glanced back, distracted, and started to turn away absent-mindedly when her scattered thoughts then caught up with her eyes. Her red hair whipped back as she did a double take and she jumped, clearly startled as the cup in her hands jumped right out of her grasp.

Now, I was a right bitch in the mornings without it, but I take my coffee contained, ready to drink. So I was less than pleasantly surprised when hers found its way scalding my skin right on my thin...white...see-through...top. I registered her wide eyes matching mine before I staggered back, one hand clutching my chest and the other finding the lockers for support. I hissed, blinking back tears and tried to stay upright. I gave a jarring shudder from the shock.

Her eyes were darting in horror between my shirt and my face as she stumbled forward, stuttering, "Oh my- shit- my god, I'm so, I-I didn't see you! Oh my god I'm sorry! Fuck, I'm so so sorry! Shit!" The pain was blinding and I wanted to tear the burning skin straight off, unable to think of much else as my fingers trembled to match my shudders. I peeled the sopping cover away from my chest and took the chance to glance at her. Her brows were furrowed in frustration- from her own clumsiness, I assume- and she looked desperate for a way to help fix things. She was still gazing at the now-beige shirt, shaking her head.

Her eyes snapped up then to find mine and I stood transfixed. The shudders soothed. An overwhelming tug at my navel was begging me to step closer. Let there be less space between. A flicker in her warm, brown eyes was pulling me- hook, line, sinker.

_Wait what? Stop. No._

I let my hand on the locker keep me grounded, violently shaking my thoughts away. I cast my eyes down, scoffing at the situation, only to feel that tug again. I only meant it to be a glare at her, but once I found those brown doe eyes over again, I was stuck, reverted back to my previous, helpless gaze. Locked in place. My chest hurt and my head was spinning lightly. Fucking coffee, I thought, still clutching my shirt. Oh wait, no I had forgot to breathe for a moment there.

_Fuck's sake, what's wrong with you! This was never a problem with you and her before!_ I huffed, tearing my gaze back again before I registered her talking. Had she been doing that long? No, I would've noticed.

"...Naomi? You there?" Was her voice always that deep?

"Huh? Y-Yeah, I'm here." No, it wasn't deep- more husky, with a slight rasp around the edge. _Jesus that's distracting._

"Are you alright?" she asked, full of concern. The last time we talked, however brief, it had been small squeaks of conversation. Not anymore. Now it sounded different. It sounded rather se- _NO. no._

"I'm fine," I snapped, "I always bathe in scalding coffee, or hadn't you heard?" The sarcasm was a dig but I didn't care. She set her jaw and just looked at me, her soft, brown eyes (fucking STOP it.) giving away nothing. A long, tensioned silence filled the space. _Look away Naomi. Stop Staring._ Damn it, I could feel her gaze seeping in again as the shudders came back with a vengeance. _Fuck, why can't it all stop?_

It was then that she spoke, and of course I fucking missed it. My brows furrowed in question.

"...I said take it off. Now." I stood stunned at the authority that came over her. Authority and, well, the request itself. _She wasn't serious?_ When I didn't move, she glided in front of me and her fingers feathered over the buttons, swiftly pulling them apart. I could feel my eyes widen but I still didn't move.

I didn't dare to breathe; I couldn't have- the air had caught in my throat. I didn't miss the way her eyes raked up my chest, following the buttons but darting across every few moments. It was only when I felt her finger brush the skin under the top button that I jumped back, swatting her hand away. I swallowed down a gulp threatening to lodge in my throat and felt my brows furrow again. Her touch was fire on my skin. _It's just the coffee, you twat, everything fucking burns..._

_Shut her down. Right now. Forget the shirt, just stop her._

"The fuck d'you-"

"Stop it. Don't." Her husky voice was stern and sure, but then why were her eyes pleading with me?

She started to unbutton her own blue plaid, exposing the creamy expanse of skin under the collar. She watched me watch her.

_Oh hell. Stop fucking staring, Christ. Stop it, stop it, just stop! What's wrong with you?_

She glided toward me again and I let her, drawn toward her like a magnet. She kept my gaze locked on hers as she reached up around my neck. My chest was thudding- _It's just the coffee..._

A chill jolted in my spine as the silky shirt fell off my own shoulders, down my arms. She leaned forward slightly and a wave of strawberry flooded my senses. _Christ_. I very nearly fell over on the spot but I felt her hands grip my wrists then, burning my skin.

_What is this? I can't move. I can't breathe. It's all burning._

Her hands moved from my wrists- gripping them loosely- over my hands, taking the soaked top from my arms. Emily drew back to drape it over her yellow bag and the space suddenly felt empty. I felt bare and exposed, and as a twinge of anxiety arose, I stepped forward to lessen the distance. Don't ask me why I did it. I couldn't tell you. I didn't know. What I could tell you was that her eyes never left mine, not once. So when I stepped toward her, I watched her eyes flicker with something I couldn't quite place and the corner of her mouth tugged upwards slightly, setting a fire under my chest.

_It's only the coffee. It's just the coffee.._.

Her quiet smirk was smug, daunting, as she arched her back and pulled her own blue top off her shoulders. Shit. She was painfully bare and her tongue slipped out over her lips briefly, dragging me back to her smirk. Her lips looked ridiculously soft and smooth; my mind started to wander then, imagining her kis– _FUCK. NO. Leave NOW!_

Reality jolted me back completely and her sudden proximity was claustrophobic. My eyes flashed wildly around, feeling instantly guilty and caught in the act, even though I knew no one was paying attention. I crossed my arms across my chest and stepped back to leave, my eyes looking across the hall. I set my sights on the stairwell and was about to follow through when my back slammed onto the lockers, a widespread hand splayed across my chest and cooling the skin underneath.

I landed with a gasp escaping my lips and an all too prevalent heat settling in the pit of my stomach. I'm fairly sure my heart had stopped for good. The familiar red locks followed me backwards until her lips were a hair width from my ear and her hand was absolutely melting my chest. I could almost feel her smile. I didn't dare move an inch.

_Just breathe Naomi. In and out. Fucking breathe._

The jarring shudders returned, fucking lovely. If I could've looked away I would have. So fast. But I was unwillingly stuck. Her hand released its pressure as she reached downward slightly, her gaze never leaving mine. My puff of relief was short lived as one of her fingers returned and trailed lightly up my torso, making my insides writhe and flooding the skin with goosebumps like fire. She did it so unbearably slow that my lungs were compressing tighter every second. _Don't move a damn muscle._

_In and...just, umm...fuck. What was I doing?_

By the time her finger traveled up through the more, um, personal area, all thoughts and breathing had properly ceased. I was still in a black tank-top but fuck all for the difference it made. I felt a warm cloth press against my pained chest then, undoubtedly her flannel top, but I was more distracted by the husky tones quietly wrapping around my ear.

"I dunno what you're fighting in that beautiful mind of yours, but this should help for now if you'll let it. If you'll let _me_. It's the least I can do..." she whispered.

She gave the cloth more pressure until my hand took pity on my dumbfounded head and reached up to grab it from her. She pulled back completely then, her eyes glinting and humble, wicked smirk freezing me in place, and I watched her turn to stride down the hall. Her black skinnies were swaying with her hips and a marvelous amount of fair skin showing on her shoulders and arms as her own white tank-top hugged every part of her small frame. She walked around the corner before completely disappearing, leaving me stunned.

_Holy hell, Emily Fitch, what have you begun?_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey all, guess who's back? I originally had the first part of this scene finished last week but since the second half was in need of some work still, I decided to at least get this part up before hand. They do go together so I'll get the second half up in a day or two, a nice holiday gift for you wonderful people! As always, enjoy, and lemme know what you think- shoot a review out and tell what you like, don't like, the works...**

**And big thanks to those who left initial reviews, you gave a nice boost of confidence to a gal in need (:**

_Disclaimer: owning skins is like owning a unicorn. I wish but...nahh..._

When Words Fail

Ch 2

It took me a full minute of just staring at the corner she disappeared around before I could snap myself back to sanity. Blinking rapidly, more people started to trickle in the hallways now starting to shoot some weird glances my way before quickly shuffling along. I gave a shallow breath before looking down. The black tank was just damp around the edge of the collar so at least I could suffer through the rest of the day somewhat bearably.

That's just fantastic.

It was then, looking past the black, that I saw the blue crossed fabric bunched in my hand awkwardly above my tits. My poor excuse for a brain finally started turning wheels then (such fucking great timing huh, _after_ she leaves) and I realized I was still a bit exposed. I loosely unruffled her shirt and gently smoothed out the creases where I apparently had been gripping quite tightly. Whoops.

I threw it around my shoulders and attempted to pull it up my arms before realizing it was a bit snug. Actually, it was very, very snug. So this is what they mean by form fitting, what a god-fucking-awful trend. Still, I was out of options if I was stuck here for another 5 hours, and after a huff and groan, I plastered it over my black tank-top and attempted to button it up. I hadn't even gotten it up my stomach before realizing there was NO way this would fit over my chest. Not if I wanted to breathe. I gave up and let it hang loose instead, unbuttoning it again before fixing the flipped collar.

That was the first mistake.

That same flood of strawberry scent flew through my senses and so started the internal loathing.

Let it go. It's just a shirt. She was being nice. Stop being a prick. Just go to class. It's a fucking shirt, just deal with it.

But this shirt (not that it mattered, right?) was her shirt. Emily Fitch's shirt. The same Emily Fitch who I could casually talk with when our group went out for drinks. The same Emily Fitch who was my partner when these rubbish classes started bantering. The same Emily Fitch who was almost too easy to talk to. The same Emily Fitch who, as I found out last year, fancied me.

Who apparently had done so for quite some fucking time now.

So it was there in that constant denial of saying it's JUST a shirt, that my body betrayed my thoughts and my hand grasped the collar. I pulled it up near my face and just let myself drown in it. Not just in strawberry, but everything else about _her_.

The light hair mousse musk, and the coconut shampoo smell engrained in the fabric, and yes even the glorious scent of her strawberry lotion.

I closed my eyes and let it wash over me, falling back lightly against the lockers. I could appreciate a nice perfume right? That was perfectly acceptable. So for a few seconds, just a few seconds, I did. I would call myself out for it later. I'll deny it. I'll say it doesn't matter. Because it doesn't, right? It's a nice smell and It's just a shirt.

I gave an unconscious smile as I let go and smoothed it out over my shoulders. What's a shirt between friends?

After the locker trip I planned to make before it all, I made my way to class in a daze. Actually the whole morning was a bit of a daze. I vaguely remembered plopping in my seat in Politics a bit early to see Kieran there with a scraggy smile on his face.

"Least there'll by some sense among these right pack of fuckers. Not much hope for the rest of the day though." I gave an appreciative scoff before waiting for the rest of class to fill in.

I was right in the front and, as expected, everyone had the same goal to be as far from it as possible. The chair next to mine was the only one open as the class started. Kieran muttered something about quitting his day job before limping to the board. He just finished informing us for not expecting to give a shit about the class as he wouldn't either when the door opened again.

Kieran didn't notice even as the loud clicking heels made their way to the front and sat down on my right. A surge of maroon was mistaken for red as a rush of blood spread to the tips of my ears. I quirked my head to the side to make sure it wasn't her.

Nope, definitely maroon. A skin tight leopard print dress. Her tits were nearly spilling out of her shirt and with an internal cringe, I realized I'd be spending ALL year next to her. Katie Fitch, the other (wrong) twin. (Wait what?)

But I'd be lying if I said my relief that it hadn't been someone else very similar wasn't noticeable in my probably too-audible sigh. We looked straight at each other then, locked eyes, and we both stiffened at the contact. If it weren't for the nights of buzzed conversation where Emily tried time after time to convince me that Katie was a very caring person, just brashly protective, I wouldn't have given a damn about her in the slightest.

However, those nights had happened, so I owed it to my own morals to try and not be a sarcastic bitch every part in the day. Not at all because Emily would be happy. I could want to be a good person on my own, right?

"Katie..." I acknowledged her without looking and under my breath. She scoffed of course.

"Lezzer Bitch."

If Kieran had not turned around just then, I would have no intention of keeping up with this shit. I was so ready to get up and leave. But I was stuck there so I gave a sharp exhale out my nose, jaw clenched, and crossed my arms tightly, too out of control to try and deny that statement without some very bad repercussions.

Emily be damned, I wasn't putting up with this willingly.

The class passed uneventfully.

As did Literature and the lunch break. At lunch, rain or not, I grabbed a Coke and went to sit on the steps outside. I lit up a fag and dragged in a breath. Jesus this was a long day and I'd only gotten through half of it. I tried not to think about that part as I took another hit.

I turned back to reach for the Coke I had set behind me and nearly shit myself. Stonem was there, no more than an arms length away sitting on the same step next to me. Her knees were to her chin and she rested her elbows around the sides of them, a fag loosely splayed between her fingers. Fucking ninja now too apparently. What she felt the need to sneak up on me for, I had no idea, but it better not be a regular thing.

Of course I had spasmed seeing her so close but she gave nothing away, just staring off at something ahead of her blankly. A few seconds later, hopefully after she felt my eyes digging at her expectantly, she casually glanced at me with her stormy eyes glowing. She gave me a lazy once-over as acknowledgment and blew a puff a smoke my way.

"Yes? Can I help you with something?" I asked a bit incredulously. She tilted her head a bit in return. Another puff of smoke, now in my face. I wave it away, annoyed, and glare at her. After a long moment she looks away again, back off into space. I scoff, at a loss for what to do. I can't really tell her to leave seeing as she hasn't done anything wrong and I can't say she's bugging me either. Actually the opposite, she seems to be draining the tension out.

So, out of ideas and out of words (this must be an Effy thing I swear it is) I give up and pop open the coke before taking a swig. I figure I'll give my liver a break since it's not yet noon. At least for a few hours. I give a sigh, one of relief and not annoyance I realize, before staring off into nothing as well. Despite the outburst this morning, I can't help but relax around her. The quiet reassurance of another carefree body is too good to pass up. When she's not talking (or dissecting me for that matter), I actually quite like her around.

About fifteen minutes after settling in our smoke, she states, "You changed." Huh. I'm actually not surprised her first comment is about analyzing me. Even if it is false.

"Nope, still the same charming lass as always. Sorry, try again." I'm not even annoyed anymore. She diffused the air too much for that. That and the fags. Fucking godsends. But she just repeats the same 'you changed' comment like deja vu. Okay maybe it's a bit annoying.

"Look, do you want something? I've never said a word to you before, and now twice in one day? Have I grown another arm or whatnot?" I make a dramatic point to look under my arms for the missing limb. Nope, not even a chuckle from her. Steel blue and smoke hit me again before she tilts her head the other way. The just stares at me for a bit, and honestly it's a bit unnerving.

"So what changed?" She asks it with boredom dripping in the words. I raise one eyebrow at her before sighing and rolling my eyes.

"If I said I don't know, would that count as an answer?" That earns me a small smirk. Even though I'm damn sure nothings changed. "I don't know what's changed then," I answer lightly. Carefully.

She gives me another once over before taking a drag. "Nice shirt. Bit small though." The blood reaches my cheeks in record time as I become painfully conscious not to move a muscle out of place. I can't help the single shiver that runs through me though and I don't have to look at her to know the thick breath she takes is a huff of a laugh. Sure enough, I peek over my hair and see a full-fledged smirk ruling her face. I give up.

"Effy...what do you want?" I whisper, rubbing my temples. I keep my eyes closed. I can't look at her yet so flushed, I've got too much pride for that. Well let's hope I've got any after this, the way things are going, it's hard to say.

"Let it go Campbell. Stop fighting it." I should be questioning her words at point, but I'm honestly just surprised she knows my name. We've had absolutely no direct interaction before, despite running with the same crowd.

"Um, I'm not su-"

"You'll save her and it will save you. Stop fighting."

I barely have time to give her a puzzled look before she's standing up, collecting her bag to leave. My eyes are flitting everywhere trying to make some sense of her words, trying to work out if it means anything or if she's as crazy as her comments, but not before she leans over me from behind, right near my ear, and for the second time that day, my eyes are flashing for a way to get out of the proximity. I can hear an audible chuckle graze the tips of my ears and my first thought is _Finally. A sound to match the smirk. _

When she pulls a styrofoam cup out of God knows where and drops it into my lap, I just sit there puzzled as my brows furrow.

"I'd get you a coffee babe, but it seems like you would end up wearing it. Besides you had much more fun waking up without it."

I don't know when she actually left, but by the time I turned around, she was gone. I stared at the cup in my lap, my hands limp at my side, and tried not to let myself flush again. She saw. That much was clear. But how much? Fuck's sake what does it matter! It was an accident! And she was just being nice. She was being friendly. That's what friends do. When did this shift to Emily?

I took a sharp drag of the smoke in anger, and grimaced when I coughed harshly instead. I growled before stomping it with my foot and getting up to go to class. Unwillingly, might I add. Unwillingly.

I got back in the building and sighed as I made myself a deal to get through one more class before taking some support from a helpful little flask tucked on the bottom of my bag. A quick glance at my schedule again and things got a little brighter: Advanced Drawing Studio. I wasn't particularly good with graphite work, I'll admit, but any sense of some art was a welcome relief from the mess of a day. I made it to the class, scowling a little less than usual walking down the hall, before pushing the doors open. The room was situated so all the workbenches lined up toward the left, with two people sharing a bench. That was the last thing I observed before a familiar blossom of red spread on the bench closest to me in the back. Two beautifully big eyes flickered at me and held my glance before I couldn't help my actions and back tracked out the door, closing with a dull thud.

Still holding the door knob, I leaned against the door and let out the breath I was unaware I had been holding. I took a few steadying breaths. _Well, fuck, no time like the present. _I burrowed in my bag and snatched the flash of silver, taking a bit more than a swig to cool my nerves. Damn, that whiskey knows what to do. I shuddered a sigh and necked back another gulp before letting out a sharp exhale. _Okay, get it done Naomi, one girl cannot break you. _

And with that skeptical motivation, I turned back in to the room to face the crimson explosion.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: So finally here is the companion chapter to Naomi's point of view. I wanted to get it up before Christmas but you all know how busy the holidays get with family and such. In any case, I hope you all had a good one and I guess this is a late Christmas present(: Big thanks to those who started following/faving, you're seriously brightening my day more than you can imagine. Reviews, raves, critiques are all loved and encouraged so send a quick shout-out! Have at, Naomily fans.**

**Skins ain't mine, and it's a damn shame**

When words Fail

Ch 3

Emily POV

It was freezing. That was all I could focus on through the morning, the tiny shivers slipping through my body. Maybe it was because there was cold rain threating to pour outside (lovely way to kick off the year) or maybe it was sitting under the vents blasting cold air. Oh, and the fact that I'm sitting here in the smallest white tank I own. That might do me in.

But I definitely wasn't complaining.

Just thinking about what happened a half hour earlier was enough to set my stomach flipping all over again. Another shiver rippled through giving me goosebumps, and I know it wasn't from the cold air around. I took a shaky breath and tried to get my thoughts off of the awkward encounter. I shouldn't be thinking about it this much, thinking about _her_ this much, but I can't help it. It's been months since we last talked.

I don't even understand it. One day we were out clubbing with our whole group, casually bickering over our drinks like we always do, and the next day she was gone. Not physically gone, but the girl I knew had left. She avoided me like the plague, refusing to ever make eye contact with me when we all went out again. Not even a warning sign to let me brace myself.

But what hurt the most was Naomi acting like she never knew me in the first place. God, did it fucking _hurt_.t

I'm not lacking in friends per say, far from it, but with her it was always so _easy_. I could vent to her about Katie and my mum and everything else without being aware she was a different person, a different personality. Because she wasnt. Thats why I was drawn to her, it was never an effort to be myself, I didn't have to hide. Well, not _everything_ anyway...

But apparently something fucked up along the way and I messed it up. Like I always do. _Brilliant Emily, just brilliant. _

And then today happened.

When she came behind me today and scared the bloody hell out of me, I thought I might melt into a puddle on the spot with how hot my face felt. Is it possible to die from embarrassment? I'm more than willing to bet I will be the first to know. I usually have a handle on things (drinks included) but after not seeing her for nearly 7 months, I could hardly help myself. It got the best of me and Christ did it show, I was not prepared at all. But something else changed too. I only realized afterwards that she came up to talk to me, _she_ was the one who came up to _me_. That alone was enough to give me butterflies, but I knew that I couldn't just enjoy the moment.

I had no way of knowing if she would ever come up to me again like that, if she wanted to be friends, and I certainly wasn't going to be able to hold it together if she had decided once again to walk away. I barely made it through the first time intact, I wasn't sure I would be able to ever recover a second round, so despite everything I was used to, I decided to fucking man up. If I was going to let her go willingly, it would be over my dead body. She came half-way wanting to talk and I had to meet her there.

When I saw that flash of fear as she began to walk away after the disastrous ordeal, arms crossed like barriers around her, I knew that was it, I was out of time. I couldn't hold anything back, so (rather brutally) I pinned her there, making sure I would get my word out before I let her go. She didn't say anything and didn't make an effort to move afterwards besides taking my top, so I decided to give Naomi some space and let her sort herself out.

Through all of it, I knew she was at war with herself over what to do, her face never holding one thought for long. But she did stop thinking when I tugged her coffee-shirt off along with mine, because the pink that graced her flawless face was certainly not something the she would ever openly allow.

And fuck me, was it not the most beautiful sight I've ever seen. I couldn't help but let out a small smile I tried so desperately to keep in. I silently thanked whatever God might be out there that Naomi didn't have the response to smile back, because if she had, I might have threw myself at her right there, in no way responsible for my actions.

It was difficult enough to control them when I was undoing her blouse. I tried ridiculously hard to keep my eyes on the buttons, but her tank top just hugged every smooth curve of her torso and it was all I could do to consciously remind myself to keep breathing.

WHAM. I was whipped out of my thoughts when the book thrown on the desk nearly flew me off my chair in fright. I shot my hand over my mouth to keep from shrieking, as I saw a boy walking by.

"Oh! Emily I'm sorry! It seems the vast amount of books I purchased over the days would signal the unprecedented amount of coursework we are to be assigned although I probably should have left some of them in the locker everyone stopped by this morning, but I was debating starting a few of the tragedies and perhaps even reading through the Psychology introduction before class to be suitably prepared but now it seems I can hardly control how ma-"

"JJ! It's fine, yeah? No worries, I think I needed that anyway." I gave him a small smile and the poor kid turned red as a beet. It had been quite obvious since last year that he had fancied me quite a bit, and I have to admit it was flattering and made me feel a bit better about myself. Not that I ever had any intention of seeing him the same way but still. I was always careful to not to do anything to spontaneous around him for worry that he might actually pass out if, god forbid, I ever gave him a hug. But Jay was sweet and caring and a good listener, I found him nice to be around.

After some stuttering and a few more jumbled words, I gave JJ his book and he headed to his seat in the front. I gave a small sigh, anticipating a long class, and stared out the window with my thoughts dragged back to Naomi. I had gone straight to class after seeing her and her silky blouse was now folded lightly, laying in my bag that was still in my arms. I absent-mindedly ran my fingers over the fabric, my fingers tingling a bit with the cool texture, while getting lost in memories of her light blush and wide eyes.

I turned back to face the front once again and nearly fell off my seat for the second time. Effy Stonem slipped in to the seat beside me with the stealth of leopard and hadn't said a word, but stared at me with a small smirk tugging at her mouth. I huffed out a breath. Fuck at this rate, this class was going to kill me on the first day. I drew out an extended breath and smiled lightly at her.

"Good summer, Ef?" She nodded once slowly as her eyes flickered quizzically to my bag and my fingers still laying over the shirt. She tilted her head.

"Bit daring there, aren't you Fitch? It's cool in here." I tucked my head down slightly. Trying, and most likely failing, at blocking the blush crawling up neck.

"Yeah...well..." I mumbled, trying to brush it off without attention. I drew my eyes to the teacher stumbling in late to class, his face flustered as he stammered something unimportant. I hoped my own didn't match his.

"You have a shirt." It was a statement but her tone made it clear the real question was 'Why aren't you wearing it?'

"Right, um, I had sort of a run in earlier and it's, uh, I need to wash it up a bit." She quirked her head the other way and didn't miss a beat at the comment.

"I saw you talking with Katie earlier this morning. Wearing a flannel." _Shit_. No getting off easy then.

"Look," I said, exasperated by now, "I ran into someone with my coffee earlier. The shirt got splashed so I said I'd clean it up while she took mine meanwhile. It's not a big deal."

"She?" Does she ever miss anything? Great. I sat there gaping my mouth like a fish while trying to come with a acceptable yet vague enough answer. Before I could make a sound, she sat up straight, and stated, "Alright."

I paused, not expecting the untimely surrender. I glanced skeptically at her, "...Alright?.."

She paused giving a small Effy smirk, and shrugged, "Alright." And with that she faced the front with her arms crossed lazily and the class passed in silence. I kept waiting for...well I don't really know what I was waiting for, I suppose some form of surprise interrogation from her, but it never came.

The bell finally rung and everyone sluggishly moved to leave. Effy stood up and shouldered her bag, simply stating, "Club soda."

"What?" I turned to her.

"Club soda. Gets coffee out." She turned to leave then, giving me a genuine half-smile. She sauntered off saying, "Give my love to Katie."

…...

The next few classes passed a lot smoother. I met up with Katie in our History class after and she took a seat next to me, mumbling something unintelligable about fucking politics and a load of bollocks. Dunno what that was about but she was in a right foul mood the whole class. I gave a silent prayer that she wouldn't be like this everyday or the phrase 'Good morning' would soon be slaughtered.

Our schedules paired up for the break and we walked together to meet up with Ef and Freddie for lunch. When we passed through the main hall, Katie still rambling on and complaining about her day, the glass windows showed the front steps outside and the threatening clouds overhead. A familiar bright blue hatch caught my eye on the steps as a smile creeped up on my face. My heart swelled and tightened in my chest as I realized that Naomi had kept my shirt and worn it through the day.

She had her impossibly long legs laid in front of her as she leaned back on one hand, head lilted backwards, and a fag balancing between the fingers of her free hand. The wind was starting to pick up and I could make out the soft platinum curls tossed lightly around her shoulders. God she was so beautiful.

A sudden stand-still snapped me rudely out of daydream. Katie stood there glaring at me with narrowed eyes and it was only then that I knew I had a stupid toothy grin on. I wiped it away quickly hoping the guilty, innocent look I gave would suffice. She looked to where I had been staring and then scowled at me with spiteful eyes as she tugged me along once more. I was grateful she hadn't said anything but I knew I should have been more subtle. Not that I could help myself around Naomi. It was always a wasted effort.

Lunch passed as quickly and easily as it had all last year, the only difference being that Effy had disappeared. Cook had always made a habit of joining us out of nowhere but since Ef was absent, the boys enjoyed their time together, being rowdy and loud like they loved so much. I didn't think too much of it, I was more preoccupied with dodging bits of flying food and being dragged back to thinking of soft platinum locks.

I left swiftly as the bell signaled the end of lunch and as I walked to my last class of the day, I saw Effy walk in through the doors in the main hall, her signature smirk completely flaunted and she made damn sure I knew it too.

_Well fuck, a happy Effy is never good._

She walked right past me, her messy brown hair actually close enough to brush me, and I swear she wished a quiet "Have fun" when she was close enough. I gave a shiver and moved on.

I had close to no experience when it came to art knowledge, but I always found it interesting, so I decided I would take a semester class just for the hell of it. Advanced Drawing Studio sounded fucking intimidating but it was apparently a basic intro class so I figured it coudn't be awful. I crossed my fingers it wasn't anyway.

I was one of the first ones inside and was enthralled already. The room was short, floor to ceiling but very wide with cabinets and materials raiding the shelves everywhere. Smooth ivory benches lined the floor parallel to the door and were lit by the only source of light in the room: soft overhead lights that nuzzled the room in a warm beige glow.

The handful of people there already had earbuds in while they slept or dabbled on their phones while waiting for class to start. I took a seat in the back near the door, wanting to observe everything but not at all interested in involuntary participation. An old black and white animation film was being projected on the front board on repeat in the meantime. I was completely captivated with it all.

The class filled in silently but diligently, completely unlike the normal flow of straggling students. Apparently you were supposed to want to sit as close to the front as possible, but I was quite comfortable staying in the rear. The seats filled quickly and quietly but the whole back row stayed open.

There was a lull in the number of bodies then so I assumed all we were waiting on now was the teacher when the opening twist of the door sent through a heart stopping pair of blue eyes.

I only had time to register her mouth falling open slightly and the piercing blue widen a bit before she suddenly retracted out the door, leaving me wondering if I imagined the whole thing in the first place.

Minutes passed and it didn't open again as I, disappointingly, slumped on my stool. I took a notebook out started to doodle on the rim, waiting for the teacher now, when the door twisted open again. I didn't look up; I didn't have to to see the white blond from the corner of my eye, but I had to firmly bite my cheek to keep from smiling.

She took long languid steps as she casually made her way to the back. I slightly panicked when I realized Naomi would be sitting in the back with me, it was the only open row left, and my chest started hammering as she openly took the seat at my bench. Not two feet away.

Dropping her bag on the table and ruffling through it, I decided to chance a look her way. She busied herself with a sketchbook and I took her in: my own blue hatched flannel on a tight black tank, and some white shorts to run off her endless legs. There was so much skin showing I just knew my face had to be burning as bright as my hair. My god she's stunning.

I flicked my eyes back to her face and noticed all the small details around her, the curled strand of hair right in front of her ear (how the fuck I controlled my hands to not move it myself is a feat I'll never understand), the slight tinge of pink in her neck from something I don't know, the light pulse of her lashes as she blinked. Suddenly, the spheres under the lashes locked with my own and I couldn't even move, mesmerized in place. I was drowning and her eyes were burning so bright, brighter than any other pairs I've seen in my life. She froze me there.

We both were at a loss of what to do, a ceasefire of thoughts, when her eyebrow quirked upwards questioningly. It was all I need to tear my glance away and shoot my glare to my hands in my lap.

_Oh fucking hell I just know I'm blushing everywhere, she probably thinks you're some kind of freak stalker now. Good job Emily, way to blow the one chance you had. Bollocks. _

The teacher slammed the door open then, an older woman with short cropped hair and a face that made it clear she wouldn't put up with any shit. She jumped right into discussing the course objectives and projects, but despite my earlier excitement, I couldn't care if my life depended on it. I didn't look over but I heard Naomi dig in her bag before hearing the uncapping of a pen. A few seconds later she slid her blank book near the middle of the bench, common ground I guess, with a scribble in the top corner.

**I never did say thank you. **

I looked at her finally, still slightly flushed, with my own brow quirked now. She bit the corner of her lip as she leaned to scrawl again. _Fuck, adorable. _

**For the top. You didn't have to give yours up, you know.**

I opened my mouth to speak but thought better of it as I remembered the look the teacher sported in this class. Instead a quietly dug through my own bag trying to find my pens. She only waited a moment before smoothly sliding her own to the middle of the bench. I looked up briefly and she nodded to it. I uncapped it and hesitantly reached for the book, looking at her for the okay, and her lip tugged up discreetly when she nodded again.

_Ugh Jesus, keep it together Fitch._

I wrote back.

**I wanted to. I ruined your shirt before class even started. On the FIRST day. I'd be a shit friend to let you walk around bare-boned. **

It was only when I pushed the book back to the middle that I realized the mistake. We weren't friends. We weren't even acquaintances. But she was talking with me, for the second time now. That meant something right? Regardless, I sat there sweating bullets for what seemed like forever. She read it over and blinked a few times. I swear a ghost of a smile was on her face. She picked up the pen and twirled it for a moment biting the end in thought.

_Fuck, she needs to stop or there's no way I'll last a whole hour. _

She wrote again and I peaked at her writing as she did, noting the way her hand moved in slow sharp pulls across the page, an opposite feel to her elegant hands. Pushing the book over, she gave a smirk that I'm not entirely sure she didn't pick up from Effy.

**Well none of my friends are allowed to feel like shit. So I guess you owe me coffee to make up for it. **

My heart gave a stutter. Was she asking me out for coffee? Before any of that, were we talking now? ARE we friends? I had loads of questions but I wasn't about to ruin this all-too familiar banter with drudging up old memories. So I did what I had always done with Naomi: play back.

**I mean, I owe you one, but really that was my coffee I never got to wake up with soooo I do believe you owe me one. **

She gave a quiet snort and rolled her eyes, her white-gold curls shining as she shook her head with a smirk.

**You know, I actually forgot my own coffee today, but I guess there are other ways to wake up besides drinking it. **

I had the decency to look remotely sheepish at that. I tried not to flush, out of shame this time.

**I am sorry, I was just surprised. I never meant to hurt you that bad, honestly. If it means anything, it's been fucking cold all day. And a bunch of pricks kept leering when I went in the halls. Paybacks a bitch. **

She seemed to stiffen at my note and I immediately felt worse. Did she not want an apology? I was sincere about it but I had no way of proving that to her. _There goes our playful banter._ I looked over again and she was thumbing over her phone, attention to the book gone. My heart sunk a bit and I tried turning my attention to the teacher then.

Out of nowhere, while the teacher was faced away, Naomi got up off her stool and headed to the door. I was completely anxious now, was she really willing to leave over this? It was an honest mistake, accidents happen. She can't leave. Not again, I can't deal with this again. But on further detail, she had nothing with her, her bag still on the table.

I was confused. I saw her somehow open the door silently as she slipped out, still leaving one hand on the door frame. Four fingers were all that were keeping her here with me, and my god, did I ever cling to those fingers like a lifeline. They began to slip out as well and I gave a silent cry and plea that they would stay. That she would stay.

And she did. A moment later they slipped back in the door, her back to me, and expertly sealed it closed again. She snuck back over to her seat, a bundle in her arms, as she breathed a sigh of relief. She looked at me, already staring of course (it's a wonder she's still around, really) and handed over the faded teal fold of fabric. I took it and undid it before me while she was back at the book, a silent cheer going through my head.

**My duty as a feminist includes keeping the fairer sex at ease from the oncoming storm of torrential arseholes and tossers. **

**Consider us even. Its Freddie's, he was smokin a spliff with Cook. **

I wrapped the massive but warm jacket around me as my heart melted a bit. She went out of her way to get me this. And more than that, she wasn't spooked by the apology. That alone made everything better. I sunk a bit deeper in the jacket as I stole the pen twirling in her hands. She seemed surprised but pleasantly so as a hidden smile arose.

**That was uncharacteristically thoughtful of you Naomi. **

She seemed unsettled by the compliment, unsure on how to properly recieve it as she looked around the room, when I quickly added,

**Thank you, even if it does smell like tequila.**

I gave a cheeky smile and she smiled a full smile so bright, my knees went weak. Thank God I was already sitting or they would have given out. Distracted, she swiped the pen back.

**Knowing Freds, I'm quite surprised it doesn't smell more like spliff. **

I smiled and added,

**Careful now, the day is still young. Plenty of time to change that later. **

The class started moving then, eveyone standing up and moving. I was confused since the bell hadn't rung yet and checking the clock, there was a full twenty minutes left. Naomi had made to stand too, but in my quick-spread anxiety I flashed a hand out to grab her wrist. Her head swiveled toward me with her eyes wide in small shock, but she must've known I wasn't listening because she relaxed in to an easy, close-lipped smile. She used her free hand to pull my hand off and squeezed for a fraction of a second.

She leaned in to softly say,

"It's fine, yeah? I'll be right back, just stay put okay?"

I nodded but couldn't say anything since the only thing running through my head was how impossibly soft and warm her fingers felt around mine. But in a split second, they were bare again as she left with the others moving around the room.

I watched as she moved from cabinets to shelves, opening drawers as if she had been here for ages, pulling out a number of utensils, sheets, and whatnot. She watched me watch her walk back to the bench with her hands full and her eyes downtrodden slightly. I'm sure it was just my imagination but...was she blushing slightly? The moment passed as she dropped down on the seat and split the items between us. Some yellowed paper, unlined, a number of sketching pencils, F to HB, with a few sticks of graphite, and a pink block of eraser.

She turned toward me pulling her knees out from under the bench and faced my way. I kept in place facing forward with just my head turned to look at her, and when I didn't move, she smiled a bit and hesitated before she reached out, biting her lip in the process.

_Sweet merciful Jesus. _

She laid her hands on my shoulder, warmth striking straight through the light jumper, and pulled at me lightly so I would turn toward her. It took no effort as I just went along with however she turned me. My chest tightened each time she pulled at an arm or repositioned a hand and I had to focus on taking steady breaths.

_Don't show that you're mooning over her so much, for fucks sake. _

I would've made it through okay, but the last thing she did was take a finger under my chin to pull my face up and mirror hers. And fuck me, it's a miracle that one small movement didn't unravel me completely. When I felt the pressure under my jaw, I stopped remembering to consciously breathe and I felt my breath hitch, matching the stutter in the beating of my chest. At once I knew it was too-audible. She froze for a moment before thinking better of herself and putting it aside. She grabbed her sketchbook and placed it on her lap.

"Don't move okay? You can do me tomorrow but I wanna try you out today."

I said nothing but nodded, blushing furiously at both her choice of words and how smooth her voice sounded traveling over me. She let an unconscious smile slip on her face as she hunkered down grabbing a pencil of choice. True to my word, I stayed statue still and allowed her to try her hand at the sketch. I wasn't quite sure what we, or I guess just she, was supposed to be sketching, but I followed her lead and stayed put.

She was lost after that, whisked away and disappeared to a corner of her mind buried in focus. It was fascinating to watch my Naomi (whoa, wait what?) with her playful banter turn into focused Naomi with her brows furrowed and hand flying across the page. Her face dropped down a bit to let her eyes dart from me to her book, and a tuff of hair fell in her face from the constant motion. As mesmerized as I was from watching her flawless face, I opted to watch her hand etch on the page in fear that if I stared at her any longer, I might just launch myself at her without any restraint.

In truth, her drawing was as beautiful as she was. She made me from nothing. _Literally_. I watched her steady hands creating long, deep curves and soft, pronounced features. She took meaningless lines and pressure from a pencill to make my own face come to life. And...she made me beautiful. I was lost looking at her work that I didn't realize she had stilled her movement on the page. It was almost done, with scattered smooth lines making a beautiful quick sketch but the gaping white space in the center showed one thing missing.

Hey.

Everything apart from the eyes were perfectly shaded and intact, blending into each other effortlessly. It was beautiful, really.

'Emily.'

I was waiting for her to finish it, wanting to be the first to see the finished work in its entirety. To see how she saw me, if I'm being honest.

"Em?"

A warm pressure under my chin set a vice around my heart. My breath hitched yet again as my eyes flew up to hers. She looked at me so relaxed, so unlike the way she did after everything last year, that I couldn't help but give a shaky sigh comparing the differences now. She smiled sweetly and tapped the corner of her eye.

"Eyes on me, okay?"

I didn't say or do anything apart from following her instructions. I started comparing her eyes to every shade of blue that I knew, trying to find the one that would finally match the tone she held. Teal. Cobalt. Turquoise. A gold lock fell down and I had sit on my hand to keep from tucking it behind her ear myself. Sky blue. Baby blue. Electric blue. Royal blue. These colors were a royal pain in the arse. None of them were remotely close to how striking they were. It frustrated me how I couldn't find the right one.

When she took a deep sigh and leaned back in her seat, I knew she was done. In stellar timing too, because the overhead bell marked the end of class. The end of our time together. Bollocks.

She stood up smoothly and all the utensils in her hand to tuck them in a pocket of her bag. I started gathering my things too and crossed my arms, buried in the jacket, trying to hide my disappointment. She left the paper out, for what I assumed was to hand in for marks, but instead slid it over to my side of the black bench. I looked up at her and she killed me with a heart-stopping smile.

"It's yours. Makes up for breathing in the shit Freddie smokes, I think. _Now_ we're even." She walked past me then, brushing a hand on my shoulder as she left with, "See you tomorrow Fitch."

I mumbled something in a croaky voice along the lines of 'Tomorrow then', watching Naomi walk away on her endless legs. My last reasonable thought for the day was wondering why she gave me Freddie's jumper instead of my own shirt back.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I have many excuses but mainly its the holidays. I'm swamped oof. Anyway, new year new chapter, I hope you all like it. All reviews, critiques, comments very much appreciated! You make a girl happy(:**

**Skins? Mine? if only if only...**

When Words Fail

Ch 4

Naomi's POV

By the time I was finished with the Advanced Drawing class, I was exhausted. Not physically of course, but from the shock of seeing Emily, the slight buzz of Jack, the spontaneity of conversation, and bloody hell, the constant effort to keep myself in-check so I didn't do anything...rash.

The day had gotten stranger by the minute and now after coming out of the class, one I would spend everyday with her in, I had given up entirely on the hope to get through the day on a plan. Emily was breaking all of my rules without the slightest intention of doing so, and really, it scared me more than if she had.

In any case, I was mentally worn and gladly headed home on my bike. The weather cooperated until I got to the door, starting to downpour as I jimmied the lock. _Oh fucking hell, does nothing in this house work?_ I barged in, only just saving my dry clothes and yelped as I ran into a bald man walking completely stag. I was fazed for a moment but he just nodded non-chalantly before strutting off.

I gave a frustrated growl, storming in the kitchen to grab some water. Mum was sitting at the table writing in some journal and she smiled obscenely bright when I came in.

"Oh, hello sweetheart, how-"

"How long is this gonna go on, mum? I mean honestly, I barely walked through the door before having to see some bald man's wahoo. In our own house!" She made a move to say something, but I kept going, getting exasperated. "What's next? Is there knitting club meeting in my room now?"

She gives a small laugh, "Of course not Naomi, stop being so dramatic . The only one in there is Jeremy having a bit of a liedown."

"Jeremy? The self-proclaimed Jesus?" _Oh, for fuck's sake, I was _not_ in the mood for this._

"Yeah that's him. He's quite a nice bloke, you know," she says matter-of-factly. I sigh and throw my hands in the air, defeated.

"Of fucking course he is, everyone sodding loves him," I mumble as I walk away, heading to my room.

"Careful darling, don't let him catch you saying that. He might have you damned," she jokes playfully. It comes off as annoying even if she means otherwise.

"By the time I'm done with him, I'm sure I will be," I mutter under my breath.

After waking 'the messiah' from his sleep (half off the bed with some drool on his chin) and kicking him out with a rant and death glare, I finally plopped on the bed with a deep sigh, listening to the rain pound on the window off to the side. I sat and listened for a few moments, letting the drumming calm down my racing thoughts. After the early start, full day, and completely unexpected run-ins I was tired enough to drop on the spot. I didn't even have the energy to strip down before I rolled over and stretched across the bed, burrowing my face in the elbow of crossed arms. I fell asleep in moments.

…...

My room was pitch black when I woke, the only sound being the rain still ripping loose on the windows. My mouth was pasty dry and my stomach gave an uncomfortable gurgle as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes. Hands blindly fumbled for my phone and I cringed at the light. 3:28 a.m. I was too awake to try and fall asleep but too tired to do get up and do anything yet. I sat there for a while but after being so uncomfortable and accepting the fact that I wouldn't be getting sleep in either case, I decided to scavenge for food and wash up.

To my relief, as expected, the house was silent and empty. I found some leftover pasta and wolfed it down, not tasting much but not really caring. I just felt sticky and dirty, dying to jump in the shower more than anything else. I tossed the rest, and snuck back upstairs shedding my sparse layers as I went. _Not like anyway was looking for me at this time anyway._ Already bare, I turned on the water and got a towel while waiting for the heat to kick in.

A minute or so later, I hopped in and surprised myself with a light laugh at how wonderful the jetting water felt on my skin. I reveled in it, clearing my mind of everything except the continuous pulsing, hot steam on my face, and the lovely cleansing soak of suds as I nearly scrubbed my skin to pieces. The happy feelings were few and far between so I did my best to prolong it. Even that, though, wasn't enough. My mind was hard-wired to be always be thinking and, unfortunately, hot showers sent it on overdrive. Today was no exception. _Or yesterday technically. Only you would fucking shower at four in the morning. _

I was working on rinsing out the soap, brushing off my arms, and paused a moment when I reached my stomach. My eyes closed instinctively, out of memory or pain I'm not sure. The parallel ridges were still very pronouced even though it had been over two weeks since it happened last. I gently traced over them, not trying to brush the soap off in fear they might anger and break open.

I became fascinated with it. No matter how angry I got, how much I should have punished myself, my own body still fought back. It still tried to heal day by day, bit by bit, and I couldn't understand it. If the body carries out the minds commands, why were some things involunantary? If I wanted pain, why was it not even my own body that would carry the sanction of free choice? _Probably for times like these. _After some time to mull things over, after looking back on the actions done, we regret what we do in the heat of the moment. What happens when blinded by emotion.

A surge of anger and disgust piled over me, and I savored the pain as I scraped over the red marks fiercely. It only lasted for a second before a different thought of red consumed me. Almost immediately, the harming scrapes turned into a smoothing palm over the ridges, protecting them now. Despite the revulsion I had for myself, I knew what changed. Even if I wouldn't admit it in my head or especially out loud, this was _her_ doing.

Another small wave of self-hatred poured over with the steam. Even after all that I put her through last year, she was the same fiery, enthusiastic, _lovely_ girl she always was. Always is. _How could that be? _I shut her off without a thought and then show up today going back (not easily, but nonetheless) like it was all fine. She let me. She played back and she let me. _Why would she do that? __ Why doesn't she hate me and spite me for doing that to her?_

A twinge of belittling prodded through my questioned mind, that maybe she was able to forgive and forget. To let bygones be bygones, and really, knowing that made my own heart clench even harder. _God, she's ten times the person you'll ever be_. Emily is kind, passionate. Compassionate. Her loyalty is completely unquestionable. She makes everyone else's world a little bit brighter even when hers might be going to shit and, bloody hell, she made you feel loved. Friend, family, or otherwise you felt wanted.

_And you **hurt** her, you **fucking** cow, blew her out of the picture when you were closer than anyone else. _

I cringed knowing she had a better soul than I'd ever have, that's why she was so kind to me. Another part of me, the one I so adamantly kept locked up, thought something else.

_Maybe she didn't mind talking with you because it doesn't matter anymore. Maybe she doesn't care what happened. Maybe Emily has no intention of being close with you again, and the only reason she was so open was because, really, you mean nothing to her anymore. All the talks, the shyness, the unbridled tension. It means nothing. _You_ mean nothing. _

I hadn't realized I was slowly leaning forward, tucking my head in my chest, until my hand instinctively shot up against the tile to steady myself. I pushed myself upright letting the shower head drench my hair and run down my face. The water passed my lips and with a shaky exhale from the speeding thoughts, I bit my lip, tasting saltiness pass down my face. I wiped my eyes roughly, washing everything off my body following.

I had to stop this. Stop thinking. This is what started me down this nightmare of a path in the first place. If I didn't have them in bed, it inevitably came in the early morning. _Just rinse up and get your mind busy, your hands busy, whatever, just stop thinking. _So I did exactly that. I speed showered, blatantly ignoring my marked torso and dried off sloppily. With a large tee and a pair of knickers, I shook out my hair and got back to my room, much more refreshed if not a bit conflicted from the rinse.

I clicked on a bed-lamp and, on my knees, felt under the bed for the small rugged board I knew I had a number of. I pulled one out and smiled weakly. There was always a handful of small things that made me smile, despite all else. This was one: blank canvas. A pure white sheet to put my mind at ease. Something about having the base to make anything I wanted, to create anything I thought of, _to start fresh_, was something that I desperately clung to these days.

I built the small pieces of six by eight canvas boards myself, stretching the rough suface over the drilled frame and stapled tightly into the wood. They were my boards. My creations. They were important and although I used them sparingly, I had a huge number of pieces made for when the emergency needs lulled over me. Each one had a story and although I didn't know what this boards' would be, I knew this one was special.

I found the splattered bottles up against the wall, emptied a small number of the contents on a small tray near the bedside, and put on my headphones to let the music wash over me. Inspiration per say. The only rule was no lyrics. I would listen to whatever came my way, without lyrics. So after a few minutes of soaking in the sounds, I tuned everything out and set out for the canvas, letting the mood control my hands. I never really knew what I would set out to make and this time was no different, I wouldn't know until I was nearly finished.

The XX rolled through my head and I dipped my fingers in the cool paint to drag over the sheet. I wasn't painting, I was observing: out of my head and out of my control. I never used brushes, they were only barriers between me and the surface, my surface. My body makes the work, thats just the way it goes; a spread palm, ragged nail stripes, and swift finger swipes. If that wasn't enough, then it wasn't worth painting. Drawing was another matter, but with paint, with _pure, unfiltered, devastatingly vibrant colour_, I wouldn't budge.

I drank it in without notice, all the hues and tones; crimson, rosewood, cherry, blood orange, ruby, scarlett. They all splayed upward in a wicked diagonal fashion, small gaps between from the rough nails and splatters until it covered the whole surface as background. I got lost in the music after that, not much paying attention.

By the time I looked at it again, looked and _really saw it, _a smudged cover of a creamy, pale peach drew a thick swipe over the blended base and on its detail, were small spheres of hazelnut. Gold flecked all over the page but noticeably more so over the chestnut russet curled in a smoky fashion over the peach. Outlined above were two nail stripes of black, cut upward as lashes, and at once I knew what I had made.

I slid it across the room in denial. It was just a product of my exhaustion, that's it. Nothing more. _Nothing less_. I shook my head violently trying to recover an ounce of sanity. It's just a build-up of guilt. I want to make amends for my behavior last year and this was my body involuntarily reminding me not to forget it.

_Telling you not to be such an ignorant bitch all the time, so listen to it for once will you?_

I heaved a sigh, and got up to fetch the piece before it dripped and ruined. Holding it in my hands, it really was a beautiful piece, I should be quite proud of it even without the context. With the context...the first thing I thought was how much more beautiful it was. But I was quick to dispel that thought. _It means nothing, stop overthinking it. Put it with the rest and move on. _I sniffed and did just that, but as I got up to move, orange poured over the piece, making the browns and reds pop out and catch my breath in my throat.

It wasn't just on the piece, my hands and and arms were soaked in the colour as well. I followed the stream and found it slitting through my window blinds, the sun just peaking up in the morning. _Christ, was I really at it for that long? Guess so. _I watched it for a moment and closed my eyes, letting the rays spread across my face, seeing the tone even brighter, more vibrant, behind the lids than with them open. I sudden jolt on memory lane brought little eight-year-old me wrapped up in mum's arms, lightly stroking my hair as we curled in her bed. The battering rain made me (well, little me) shake and the flashes in the dark room shoved my face into her arms further.

"There may be fear in the night, but joy comes in the morning..." she whispered. Mum wasn't particularly religious, actually she quite despised it, but she did love the saying. Her way of reassuring me after everything that had happened. Hope that things will, despite all odds, always get better.

I snapped back with a content sigh, canvas still in my hands, and opened my eyes. I paused and let myself feel around me a moment. I wasn't worried anymore. Not anxious about today, not ashamed of my actions (even if that always did come later), not annoyed with mum. I just..._was._ I decided to make the most of the content indifference and, for the first time in fucking ages, started getting dressed before eight in the morning.

I slipped on a long, sleeve blue sweater and some long denim skinnies today. A pair of bright red flats, a straighten of hair, and one line of eyeliner and shadow later, I gathered my bag and was out the door. I briefly passed by my mother's tired face waking up with some tea, her eyes bulging at me getting up willingly so early, before I hit the brisk air. It was entirely refreshing and I felt myself beaming. I had something in mind, but for it to actually work without ruining my clothes (again, might I add), I'd have to give up my bike for the day. Somehow that was okay. I felt like a walk today, and I set off with a strange feeling in my feet that I didn't realize until later was a pep in my step.

…...

When I arrived at school with my hands full, the sun was properly up and shining. It was a little cool outside but with my long clothes it wasn't a problem, so I walked up the steps with the masses, content. I already had my coffee on the way to school, wanting to down it as soon as possible so I wouldn't fall asleep in the early classes, especially from my exceedingly early morning.

With the hot caffeine in my blood, my content indifference had sprouted into a subtle good mood and, fuck it, I was excited to be here. Well, I mean, not _here_ per say, but excited to see people. Not that I wanted to see anyone special, but all my mates really, I hadn't seen them since the end of last term. Like Panda. And Thomas. Yeah, I was pleased to be able to catch up.

And other prospects as well but those weren't as important at the moment. Maybe not at the moment, but there's always later.

_Oh piss off and get moving, git. _

I made my way through the doors and, quite like yesterday, Cook was in front of Effy who was leaned on the lockers. He was making some obscene hip thrust gesture in a story he animated with his back to me, so I could thankfully sneak past him with my head tucked the other way. It's not that I didn't want to talk with him, but at the moment I really, _really_ had somewhere else I wanted to be. Or at least something better to do. I was almost down the hall when I chanced a glance back and saw those familiar steel blue eyes locking on me, amused. She discreetly gave a half nod and a smirk before turning back to the sex machine in front of her and pretending to listen.

I turned back to my trek and rolled my eyes at her all-seeing disposition, still walking the path I did yesterday. I almost ran into another bloke rushing through the halls and had dangerous round of deja vu but luckily avoided the disaster. I got to the lockers with my heart beating a little faster than I would have liked. It's probably all the exercise.

_You really needed to stop smoking so much_.

I was impressed myself at not having a morning fag this morning as I thought about it, taking a few steadying breaths.

I took one last full deep breath to contain the nerves spiked with caffiene, and calm them down completely. Now it was just a chance waiting game until classes started, which would be in...eight minutes. Shit. A few minutes passed as I decided to trade my books out in my locker since I was already there. I closed the door with my bag considerably lighter and turned my head in time to see a fiery crimson locks down the hall. I heard myself gulp, forgetting to inhale somewhere in the process.

S_weet Jesus, oh no._

Although it was still cool outside, she wore a pale red dress with an off white cardigan, tight to her forearm, and simple black flats. Her hair fell in soft ripples, her natural look I remember, and a small blue bow was off to the side as she was, once again, burrowing in her yellow bag, walking blindly down the hall. When she got closer, I saw her slight layer of blush lightly on her cheeks and some dull lines under her eyes. She was tired. That was obvious, but god, she was still beautiful.

_Oh shut up, you twat._

I gave a discreet shake of my head before she saw me and leaned casually back on the locker, waiting for her. She got closer but still hadn't looked up, and all at once I could see the catastrophe that would play out soon if this kept on. I stretched the one full hand out, far away from my body and hers getting closer, and placed my other hand in front of me, ready for the shaky collision.

"Emily," I said gently, pulling her head up in time for her to run her shoulder into my ready arm. She was surprised and pink sprung up to her face faster than she could speak. A bit embarrassed, she watched me hesitantly, but when I beamed back at her in a full smile, she gave a breathy laugh and smiled back. Something twinged in my chest.

"I seem to remember a familiar scene unfolding yesterday," I said smirking, "Lucky for you this time, I saw it coming. You're welcome." I didn't bother to hide my smug grin. She looked back with her brow quirked, surprised by my forwardness (that makes two of us), but gave small smile in return, a playful glint sparking in her eyes.

_Keep it together now, come on, Campbell. _

"Here," I reached out my other hand to hold out her coffee, readjusting my bag.

"I stopped by the cafe before college, I was hoping you had the same order. Three sugar, one cream, if I remember right? Maybe? Am I close?" I started stammering by the end and scolded myself a bit for it.

Her mouth fell slightly and her eyes relaxed, despite her surprised look. She didn't say anything, didn't move either, and immediately I thought I had gone too far. Feeling a bit mortified, I drew back mumbling some sorry excuse apology, but her hand snapped out to clench my elbow in place. Her hand was tight on me and somehow the pressure was not unwelcome.

"No! No. Don't apologize, no, you've done nothing wrong. Don't," she was quick to reassure me. In another breath she gave a shy smile and quietly said, "You were..._exactly_ right. Thank you...y-you didn't have to do this, you know." I paused a moment, reveling in her sudden shyness. I smiled at her.

"I know," I said lightly. "I wanted to." She dug out of her retracted self and beamed back at me with a full grin. _Jesus_. "Besides it seems like you need it. You look tired dead tired." I was concerned how exhausted she was just by her weary eyes. She sighed.

"Yeah, long night. Woke up early and couldn't sleep. Too early to be morning really," the redhead huffed out as she brought the coffee up, taking a small sip. Her face relaxed and she gave a moan of enjoyment that made my chest tighten. "Oh that's perfect. You're a fucking godsend, thank you mmm."

"I, erm, I-I, uh, um good. Right. Yeah, no- um, n-no problem." She looked at me questioningly before putting the thought aside and enjoying the coffee. Although feeling extremely awkward, I was pleased that I could give her something to make her feel better. I swallowed a stammer with a deep breath. I was about to say something when my phone buzzed in my pocket. I slipped it out and only when I opened the message did I see Emily in front of me do the same.

**'Friday, going clubbing. You'll be there. My birthday, can't get out of it. Dress up, twat. -E'**

I was bloody confused. I didn't have this number in my mobile and it was in a group message. I saw Cook, Freddie and Panda's number, but other than that there were at least three more I didn't know, including sender. I must've been quiet for too long, because Emily nudged me with an elbow.

"Naomi? You alright?" Her husky voice crawled up, curious what was going on. All I wanted was her to keep talking.

"Hm? Yeah I think so..." I faded off. She smirked at me, trying to lighten things.

"You think you're alright. Mmm convincing. What's going on?" she joked a bit, yet still curious.

"It's nothing. Just a weird-", the bell rang, interrupting and making me jump. I huffed and shook my head with a smile.

"It's nothing. Don't worry about it." Her face held a small disappointment but was gone before I could be sure it was there.

"Oh. Alright then. Well...I should probably go. Teacher was late yesterday, but I don't think I'll get lucky twice."

"Yeah, no sure, not a problem, I'll just...see you later then." I began to turn away myself when her hand tugged on me keeping me from pulling away. My breath hitched silently and I was surprised how much I enjoyed her hand around my own- soft and smooth, tender.

"Hey," she spoke just above a whisper, "Thank you. Really. It was _exactly_ what I needed today." She dropped a soft smile to me and with a small squeeze of her fingers, she let them slip out as she turned back down the hall, drinking every few steps. With some space to breathe finally, something in my chest gave a small cheer.

…...

Politics was as pointless as it had been yesterday, but even the aspect of facing Katie Fitch in all her infamy couldn't deter my giddy mood. I was so content that I even kept an air of civilty around the eldest twin. Okay, well part of it may have been posh mocking but its better than letting her get to me with all the lies and rumours. She could use a dose of her own medicine. Kill 'em with kindness, that's a thing, right?

_Well, it was certainly about to be. _

She walked in the room again, the familiar clicking of heels already setting my mind on edge as I realized that she would most definitely be wearing them everyday. Instinct told me write some snide remark about her apparent everyday grand entrance, but a deep breath stopped me. _Don't give her the satisfaction. _She collapsed down in a bored huff, eyeing me from her peripherals warily. I played along nicely...att least **I** think I did.

"Hello Katie," I said under my breath in as cheery a tone as I could muster. Ugh, just hearing it out loud made me cringe. Really I couldn't blame her as she shot me an incredulous look, dripping with suspicion. I was never this happy in the morning...or anytime for that matter.

I could see the wheels turning under her mahogany pinned-up hair, trying to come up with some bitchy remark to no doubt put me in my place, but I shot her a genuine smile, curtousy of my lovely mood, that made it impossible for her to shut me down without seeming like a horrible person. Katie was a nightmare and a fucking _pain _sometimes, but even she had her humanity intact.

In the end, she settled for a brief death glare and a scoff, crossing her arms and sinking into her seat. I nearly burst with pride at being able to silence the hardened girl. Kieran walked in, ripping at some hypocrisy the East embodied before I too zoned out, embracing the accomplishment of my own instead.

…...

Lunch rolled around and I headed back out to the steps despite the dropping temperature. I lit up a fag in gladly let a wave of nicotine wash over me. Coupling with my unusually high mood, the two drugs did a number on my system making me relax excessively so. Now that I think about it, it's probably the drugs and the extreme lack of sleep too. Either way, with the wind blowing slightly and giving me goosebumps, the period slipped by with my small movements getting even more sluggish as time trudged on.

I resided alone, uninterrupted, the whole time.

…...

By the time lunch was finished, I had Drawing Studio left. On a normal day, I would have been shitting mysely from anxiety and dread, admittedly a bit of excitement too, but at this point I was fucking tired. The caffiene was wearing off, the weather had been draining, and the fags I smoked I had relaxed me to the point of nodding off at any moment. It was a terrible mix but there was just this class before I could get back to my bed and sleep. Properly sleep too—I planned on taking something to knock me out for the night, the _whole_ night.

I was in front of the door before I knew it and, although I was tired, some warm sense of peace washed over me when I saw the lovely cherry locks in the back. Even more so with the radiant smile she sent over to me.

_Holy oh my wow. That smile is just...fuck. No, don't. Don't_

I told myself to try and stay level-headed- _don't return her smile- _but she was absolutely beaming despite our matching exhaustion and it was all I could do to try and keep the small smile limited as it crept up on my face, contagious from the tiny redhead.

I made my way over, crossing behind her and glancing over her curved back as I pulled my seat out (such a perving prick, for fuck's sake, honestly...) and sat down, slumping with a sigh. She smirked with something playful in her eyes, quirking her head in amusement.

"Long day, huh?" My eyes were getting heavy as I finally made eye contact with her own chocolate spheres, brow raised.

_Oh just...stop. Stop. _

"Yeah. You could definitely say that," I sighed. "You look much more lively than earlier. Better now then?"

"Oh god yes, much better. Almost faltered last period but I'm hanging in there. There's only so much Katie I can take during my break, but I held out just long enough." She seemed weary thinking about it but didn't let it get to her. Then something clicked.

"Wait, last period is your break?"

"Mhm," she said, suddenly interested in the notebook she doodled on atop the table, "Why?" It was my turn to look away.

"No reason..." I tried to talk toward something else before remembering my earlier victory. "So why was Katie dearest so livid?" I joked lightly. She laughed back just as smoothly, her husky tone making my head spin lightly.

"Just having a wardrobe dissection for Ef's party. Christ, if I hear one more word about my lack of taste in heels from Kay, I might have to deck her." She huffed, exhausted. Something hot settled in the back of my neck at thinking of my redhead and Effy together. Well, not my redhead. Not at all. I didn't even notice when she looked at me expectantly. I paused for a second.

"um, what was that?"

She looked down shyly with pink sliding up her neck.

"I-I was just wondering if you were, um, you...might be coming?" she faded off, hesitation evident.

I looked down, not trying to hide my dejection.

"No, I don't think so. I wasn't invited and I'm not much of a party crasher so..." I felt a twinge of sourness and frowned at the loss of my previously splendid mood. She looked puzzled.

"Oh. But...but I asked Ef if you were coming, and she said she already sent you an invite. For this friday?" I stared blankly at her , very confused before the very obvious truth dawned on me. I pulled out my phone and, sure enough, the invite from –E had to be Effy. I smiled to myself, not only at the prospect of learning something about the hot-and-cold, steel-eyed girl, but also from spending the night around Emily. And Katie and Effy and Cook of course. Of course.

But another question rolled over me as I thought through her previous words. I felt myself become wary, but curious.

"You...you asked her if I was coming. W-Why?" She immediately flushed scarlett and her eyes shot down so fast, she might have had weights on them. _I'm not sure I want to know the answer now..._

"Old habits die hard I guess..." she mumbled under her breath.

My mind flashed to a scene that unfolded many times last year.

I'd always show up to the pub's a bit later. I enjoyed getting initially buzzed by myself, taking in the sensation rather than losing it to small conversation around me. Only when I couldn't tell the difference between the drinks' effects did I show up. Undoubtedly, each and every time, although I was sure not to think anything of it, I would slink in a side entrance and see the group around a table with drinks. Emily would always be seen first, her bright cherry hair made sure of that. And I would catch her every few seconds glancing at the door, waiting, tapping her nail on her glass. I would join the table, Cook shouting some loud obnoxious cheer, and see them all laugh. I would see her laugh with a bright smile but she would always look at me instead. Smouldering auburn eyes. The glass was never tapped after I arrived.

I hadn't said anything in quite some time and it was obvious I had made things extremely uncomfortable for her, as she shifted in her seat constantly and didn't quite know where to look anymore. I stifled a yawn in my comfortable position and stretched obviously, hoping and succeeding in catching her eye again. I gave her a genuine smile, my eyes heavy-lidded.

"Well then, now that I know I haven't misplaced the invite," I joked (she smiled, a tug on her mouth), "I guess I'll be seeing you more of you come Friday." I made sure not to have any trepidation in my words and she noticed it, finally relaxing and letting her smile reach her eyes. I think they got even brighter than normal.

Somehow the teacher managed to come in without me even knowing and only when she announced to everyone to finish the partner project from yesterday did I sigh, grateful mine was finished from the first day. I pulled the handful of utensils on the table from my bag, rather clumsily, and slid some sheets over to the redhead over the bench. Realizing this was going to take some time, I settled into a slouch, my arm on the desk and head being held in my hand facing her. I turned my body to the side, careful to get in the perfect position on my own so that she wouldn't touch me.

My eyes were growing heavy, I gave a deep sigh and relaxed as she picked up a thick pencil and leaned over the sheet, her eyes traveling all over me. I should have been squirming under her gaze, clearly not just noticing lines for a sketch, but I knew my awareness was about finished. I just didn't care at this point.

With a last joke, I whispered, "You get the whole time, so don't go making me fat, okay? Don't ruin me." I felt the double meaning in my chest before I heard it and my eyes slunk down as they locked on hers, the smooth russet gaze letting them fall softly to a close.

I was almost gone before I was sure I heard her whisper under her breath a light, "Never."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hey all! It's been ages I know, and admittedly I know i could have (should have) split this into two chapters, but this is the final chapter before things get...interesting. Besides, lots of Naomily longing that I'm a sucker for and hopefully you like too(: As always your likes, reviews, ratings, hatings, anythings are always welcome! All feedback is good feedback, but enough of me! Enjoy this one, hope you all are having as good a day as I am(:**

_Disclaimer: Skins? Mine? In another life...(also a great read, go read that too)_

When Words Fail

Ch 5

Emily POV

The rest of the week passed with barely a hiccup. I was actually concerned with how smoothly, how wonderful, the days had passed. Naomi was lovely. She had always been lovely and I couldn't seem to take my eyes off of her (not that I ever could before). I found myself spending longer and longer on getting ready in the morning, wanting to look good, much to Katie's dismay.

For the third time this week, she was pounding on the bathroom door, snapping me out of my thoughts of the blondes whip-lashed avoidance. A quick mention to piss off and I'd sneak to our room avoiding the little shit spying on us all too often. Don't get me wrong, I love James (I was fucking obligated to, wasn't I?), but Kay and I embraced the 'tough love' kind of relationship when it comes to baby Fitch. He desperately needed some proper guidance.

Thank God Katie's used to taking hour-long showers so I could try on some outfits that usually wouldn't have seen the light of day in my sleepy state. Some extra care with fixing my hair and some lining on the eyes, and I was ready- almost giddy- to go. This went on _every_ day.

Katie's bloke of the week would drive her but I took pride in my exceedingly vibrant orange moped. It was ridiculous and silly and it just about my favorite thing ever. I felt more confident whenever I was riding it than in a car with Katie, near cocky actually. Not that a sticker-plastered, neon orange little motorbike was reason to flaunt my shit, but I was _me_. I got to be me without Katie hovering (not that she would want to be caught dead around it anyway which worked out nicely). Those times were few and far between, the only other time I was me was with..._Her_.

Today, I took a second to wrap my head around that thought that spurted from nowhere before heading off, wanting to closer to the real person than an overly reviewed memory. I parked and gathered my things once arrived and made my way down the halls, an obvious excitement bubbling in my chest. I was sure to make a point, everyday that week, to walk down the last hall _not_ looking at Naomi, because I just knew if I saw her there- standing casually beautiful like a fucking model and waiting for me with a heart melting smile- I wouldn't even make it to the lockers before collapsing pathetically.

Of course when she called my name a few feet away, I would look up at her, surprised (at how gorgeous she was, I'd _never_ get used to it), and feel my face split in half from my grin. Today was no different.

_Jesus Fitch, you look like a psychopath, tone it down a bit with the smiles and shit. _

But it was damn near impossible to do. I mean honestly, I could probably get arrested but still be smiling like an idiot if she was around. It was a lost cause. Despite that second day where she evened the favors by bringing me coffee, she didn't stop at the one time. Everyday she stood here in front of me, waiting for me, with a tall white cup, steaming slightly, in her slender outstretched arm. And everyday my heart skipped a beat at the gesture. It was completely unnecessary of course, and I'm sure she knew it, but she did it anyway.

"Three sugar, one cream, as per. And a kick of course, as you like it," she stated simply with a hidden grin peaking out. It was all I could do not to kiss it off her face. I didn't obviously, but _fuck_ did I want to. Her habitual coffee runs had one day added a surprise with her 'kick'. I knew how I liked my usual coffee, but one day it tasted different. She had smirked at my expression when I realized albeit different, it was bloody delicious. With a quirk of her head and an arrogant smirk that still managed to look dazzling, she simply said she added one of her favorite things. When I asked her what that might be, she looked at me playfully and told me not to worry my pretty little head. And of course I didn't answer: my breath caught at her casual (and probably unintended) compliment.

I took a sip, letting the warmth wash through me, and glanced over Naomi quickly, noting how perfectly the clunky gold necklace matched her soft hair and contrasted the dark denim jeans . _Fucking flawless, _I whined internally. She was oblivious to every look and started up conversation easily, which also never failed to shock me when contrasted with last year. Alright, honestly, there's nothing this girl did that didn't take the time to stun me. I was a walking vegetable with her. Her smooth tone wrapped around me, pulling me back to her standing in front of me when she spoke.

"How is it that you manage to look like the living dead after I tell you _every day_ to go to bed earlier? I think all that dye is affecting your listening skills," she teased.

"Oi! I'll have you know I am perfectly functional, dye or not, Campbell," I exclaimed. What I didn't tell her (more like what I would _never_ tell her) was that I had been getting up unusually (and painfully) early, making an effort to actually look nice for the beautiful blonde. And I _had_ been going to bed early. I really did try, but every time I closed my eyes to drift off, thoughts of her small touches- her heavy, nonchalant words- made my heart beat a little faster, killing any chance I had at relaxing into sleep. _Don't ruin me..._

"Maybe your natural look should be the one to speak up don't you think? Because clearly the cherry bomb isn't winning your case." A smug look was plastered on her face, and although it was a little annoying, I could feel myself rile up, in turn kicking the caffeine into gear.

"Nah I don't think so." I could my stubborn stance fading as her grin melted to a smile. "You'd miss me red too much. Don't even deny it," I mocked. It backfired unexpectedly when she turned slightly more serious, standing taller as she pulled herself off of the lockers, with a ghost of a smirk expertly hidden. I almost missed it, but I'd spent so much time around her that I noticed her small movements when I looked for them.

Her eyes darted between my hair and my own eyes while a burning heat made its lazy way up my neck to my ears. There was no way she could miss it when she looked at me so closely, and the thought of being caught made me flush even deeper. She reached out her fingers without a care and twirled a lock near my ear around her finger: I did my best to grip the shiver that ran though me so it wouldn't give me away. The hidden smirk became minutely more pronounced and I'm sure she caught it.

_Jesus fuck, of all the times to start being observant Naomi... Send me to an early grave, why don't you?_

"I dare say you're right Fitch..." she said quietly, just above a whisper. She wasn't even speaking to me, but with the way she was looking at the red on her pale hand, a faraway gaze showing her inattention, she sounded like she was convincing herself of it. Admitting it, almost. I had to shut my eyes and look down at my feet to once again prevent my impulses from doing something seriously stupid.

Naomi, observant once again only under my mortification, could sense the discomfort around me and swiftly lightened things up by giving my hair a tug under her hand, which promptly followed a laugh to fall out of her beautiful mouth as she saw me yelp and stare at her dangerously. Okay, yes it hurt a bit, but I was grateful for the distraction and even more so how she did it without making things awkward.

_Like only she can do. _

"So," she started again, the laughter settling away smoothly, "Stonem's night tonight I guess. Do we know where everyone's meeting up at yet?" She looked a bit nervous at the thought, though why I couldn't say.

"No, not yet. I'm sure she'll let me know in class." She nodded briefly, her eyes on the floor with her brow furrowed and for some reason, it made me sad to see her so distant after so close and playful moments ago. I ducked my head low trying to catch her eyes as she stared down. "Naomi? You okay?" She snatched her eyes back up and looked at me, now awkwardly positioned in a half-bend before I stood up and re-shouldered my bag.

"Mm yeah fine. I just don't have classes with anyone apart you and Katie, so I'm not really sure how things are gonna work around everyone today. Haven't exactly been up to date with people." My eyes bugged out of my head and I could feel my jaw go slack.

"Wait, _What?"_ I spluttered, "You have a class with _Katie_?!"_ Why was I just now hearing about this! _She seemed amused by my reaction (which was FAR from funny might I just fucking add).

"Yeah, Katie dearest sits next to me in Politics and Economic Studies. Always the ray of sunshine in the morning, isn't she?" she responded, sarcasm dripping." _What the __**fuck. **_Katie? Politics and Economic studies? Where in the bloody hell had THAT come from? And next to Naomi?! Something was seriously fucked here. She's taking the piss...right? But she never got this serious in a joke. Oh my god, this is not happening. Not that it couldn't but it _wouldn't. _Katie fucking **hates** Naomi. After...that party...a few years ago, whenever my blonde was in eye line of Katie, I had to tense as if ready to spring into action, if only to barricade Katie from clawing her to pieces.

"What the hell. I can't even imagine her- I mean, why would she- how could she- what could she want to do with, I mean, not that Politics isn't a good, well useful or maybe like productive, thing to get into—but I mean it's Katie and she wouldn't, well I guess she did—but I don't know why she-"

"Emily!" She grabbed my upper arms firmly and gave me a shake. "It's fine, yeah? I mean, I don't know why she's there and I'm surprised she didn't tell you either," she reasoned, "but you once told me you there's no secrets. There's no point, right?" She waited until I gave a small nod, a bit stunned at the sudden calming disposition.  
>"So she'll tell you eventually. Just give it time. Obviously, being Katie, she's probably just as worried about telling you as you are about wondering WHY she hasn't said so already." She stopped talking, the silence entirely evident now, and she seemed a little nervous.<p>

"I-I mean...that's what _I _would guess anyway... B-but you know her better than I would, so I could be completely wrong but-"

"You're right." I said quietly, looking at her and her surprise. "I'm just a bit shocked, I guess, that she never said anything straight off the bat. But no, you're absolutely right, she has to come tell me." I gave her a shy smile, a bit embarrassed at my outrage, and I felt her relax, loosening my tongue dangerously so.

"How is it you always know what to say?" I whispered under my breath. Her hardened walls were back in place in a flash.

"Sometimes what's said goes against my intentions. Sometimes it hurts people," she said sharply. She stared at the coffee in my hand before realizing she wasn't staring at the cup. I uncomfortably turned my arm away, trying and failing to pull the cardigan sleeves past my wrists.

"And sometimes," I said softly, taking a step closer, "words are empty when the emotion says otherwise. What your face shows and your voice hides, it gives you away. Sometimes, words fail..."

Naomi stared back at me with such a pained and conflicted look in her eyes that all I wanted to do was throw my arms around her and bury those thoughts- those memories- away. It didn't matter. None of it mattered. She was here now and being wonderful, so much that the memory of the months I had been hurting seemed like a dream.

She gulped audibly, strained, and clenched her jaw to keep her tears at bay. I knew her. She wouldn't want the attention drawn to her, no pity or empathy or trying to justify the actions that had already been done so long ago. So with reluctant physical effort on my part (a fuck ton of it too), I changed the topic to pull her out of the past.

"I'll talk to Ef," I said after clearing my throat, bringing up the mood "and I'll let you know the details after break today. Sound good?"

A small relief flew over her face at the switch before she was back to her composed-Naomi stature.

With a soft sigh and a nod, she pulled up one of her tiny smiles for me and my heart swelled (as it always does around her) that she was putting forth effort just to keep me reassured and unworried. It was obviously evident it was eating at her, and I would be concerned for as long as I knew the blonde, but it was all I could do to smile back just to keep her own smile at bay. Both of us sporting false reassurances in order to keep the other in relaxed fashion.

The bell rang and I was loathe to leave her here in this shaky state, but I didn't have a choice and for her sake I wouldn't let on that I knew it was bothering her. I gave a deep sigh and told her a soft goodbye with details to come. A caught her eye one last time, a little less bleary from before, and brushed my hand across her arm, hoping to say _I'm here. For anything at all. I'm here. _

I tried not to notice, before walking away, the prickling of her skin as goosebumps appeared.

…...

I was out of my seat right away when I saw her walk through the door. The flustered, rambling teacher hadn't been on time the entire week which was working in my favor very nicely. She was looking down at her phone, a smoke in two fingers and thumbing messages meanwhile, so she didn't notice (not that she would have ever expected it) when I came up to her quickly and threw myself around her slim waist for a tight Fitch hug. She froze instantly, completely unused to physical contact no doubt, but didn't shove me off either which was more than I can say for last year.

"Happy Birthday Ef," I said brightly. I pulled away when she didn't answer and I couldn't help the bit of pride that was growing from finally catching the blank-faced girl with her eyebrows shot up, eyes widened in surprise. I giggled at her stupor before she composed herself and actually gave a full smile back. Okay, well she scoffed and shook her head too, but I knew she was pleased with the small recognition.

Back in our seats we were quiet for a beat, before I pushed a small box to her side of the table. She looked at me slowly, quirking a lazy brow, saying _Presents? What, am I four? _I huffed at her with a smirk still on my face.

"Oh fuck off, you know you love me. Open the damn box, will you."

"Mmm do I now?..." she said quietly, finally obliging by slipping the lid off. She kept her same bored, nonchalant expression but I only just caught her eyes lighting up a bit. She smirked and caught my eye, clearly amused. I had decided to go with the only thing I knew Effy wanted 100% of the time: her dear fags.

"How did you even get these?" she asked, actually curious, which was something unheard of for the brunette.

"Katie's cock of the week works at the shop. He nicked a few for me," I said, not bothering to keep the pride out of my voice.

She took out the four packs of smokes and flipped them, surprised again to see I had drawn them out like a pack of cards, one suit per pack. I may or may not have been watching Naomi doodle spades on the edges of our...of _her_...book in class and couldn't help it when they ended up on the packs. Effy surprised me this time when she leaned over to me, still being lost in all the thoughts of the blonde, and placed a light kiss on my cheek.

She didn't say anything and didn't think anything of it as she pulled a smoke from the Clubs pack and proceeded to light up in class. _Only a Stonem could without a flying fuck. _A door slammed with the old man bumbling up to the front, apologizing for being late and not even noticing the wafts of smoke from the back of the room through the whole hour long class.

Before long, time was up and everyone started filtering out. It wasn't until the brunette brushed a hand over my shoulder with a short 'thanks' did I realize I forgot to ask the details I had set out to do. I whipped back trying to catch her, but just managed to see her black boots turn the corner before a frustrated sigh spilled out and I headed out of class, trying not to let my rapidly souring mood get the best of me.

Katie was clearly in a good mood, and that only put even more of a damper on my spirits. Knowing my sister, if she was in a good mood, it probably consisted of making my blonde's day absolutely wretched. That worried me immensely so, seeing how I had already left her in a questionable state and I couldn't stand the fact the Katie might have continued to bruise the battered dog. It also didn't help that she hadn't come to me and told me why the FUCK she was in that class in the first place. How had I gotten into such a foul mood from a lovely morning so quickly. I don't know. God, I just wanted to see Naomi right now, she would know what to say.

_Sometimes it hurts people..._

Fuck, no that's not what I meant. A sear of pain ran through my ribs when I thought of the blonde's face saying that, and it didn't help lighten my mood whatsoever.

Somehow, even though I was the one left broken last year, I still felt a bubbling of guilt at remembering her face full of strain. She was vulnerable and as much as I was in awe when she opened up to me, I couldn't stand the fact that she was stripped bare unwillingly. This was involuntary remorse spreading through her and anything shown without her intention was enough to make me break a bit inside.

Naomi was headstrong and wildly fierce in her life, this victimized guilt didn't suit her. I certainly didn't know how to talk about it without it tearing her apart further but I'll be damned if I wasn't going to try. For my own sake, I had to try.

Despite the new-found determination, one thing I didn't account for was the waiting anxiety. Being around Katie did fuck all to help my nerves (and patience for that matter, secretive cow...) and each passing minute had me drumming my fingers a bit harder on the desk. Even with only a quarter hour left, I was at the end of my rope. Katie's content grin was doing my head in, and I couldn't help jumping to some horrible conclusion about what she might have done to get in such a smug mood. I snapped finally.

"Katie, what the fuck is up with you? You look like you just got laid, it's a bit revolting honestly." Even more surprising was how calmly she answered. _Who are you and what have you done with my sister? _

"Nothing, I just had a good class." I gave her a pointed look. "I'm allowed to have a good day, Emily, God who fucked you up today? Get out of face, dosy cow," she scoffed, now getting a bit annoyed.

"You sure it didn't have to do with getting in Naomi's face? I know you've had it out for her and I know you two sit by each other in class. The only time you have that smirk is when you get in a fight and beat the shit out of someone. What did you do, Katie?" My voice had started rising unintentionally and a mix of anger, and more so worry, for my blonde (God, I really have to stop that) was seeping into it. Katie didn't even look the least bit interested in how I knew they shared a class, and discarded it without a care.

"For fuck's sake Emily," she said, exasperated, "if you must know, I did well on an exam and felt rather fucking proud if you can wrap that around your one-track mind. Really, it more than made my day that the fanny-licker wasn't there either, but no one got the shit beat out of them, although the way you're going on about this, maybe I should give you a slap," she grumbled. I froze.

"Sh- She wasn't t-there?" I asked hesitantly.

"No. Finally some good luck came around, eh?" I had a flash of anger at her arrogant conceited statement but it was quickly replaced by dread and anxiety. Naomi wasn't in class. Perfect-attendance-for-ten-years, show-up-early-to-class, straight-A's Naomi wasn't in class. My heart plummeted. Was she okay? Is she hurt? Where is she? Did she tell anyone? _Did she run again?_

The bell rang then, and I'd never popped out of my seat faster. I tossed my things in my bag and was out the door before Katie was even out of her seat ("Emily! What the fuck, wait!").

By the time I was passing main hall, people moved in slow fashioned manner, much to my frustration. I could hear Cook's rambunctious laugh from down the hall, and I could practically smell Freddie with him as well (Jesus, if that much spliff was on just his sweater, I can only imagine what he smells like now).

A small bubble opened up by the main doors and I could see the boys bustling down the hall, shoving each other roughly into the lockers, laughing obnoxiously. Cook would know. If I could stop him from getting tackled every five seconds from Freds, I could ask him. Although the increasing force of their boyish whams were beginning to scare me. _Where's Katie when you need her? _

I finally got to the two of them and was about to open my mouth when a body was shoved my way. I braced myself for the feeling of cold metal on the back of my skull but a firm, sturdy arm grasped my neck and spine before I could make contact, and although I definitely heard the sound of some body hitting the lockers, it was all I could do to register the slight offset of balance in my legs as I collapsed against the person instead, who somehow managed to twist us around.

My eyes were tightly shut the whole time, but with the feeling of a safe arm around me, and the body I was molding to easily acting as barrier between metal and me, I didn't need to open them to know who it was that steadied my fall. We had always fit together so wonderfully and the soft full pressure always gave her away in her hugs. This was no different. I opened my eyes to see her face a heart-stopping distance away from mine. I must've not seen her down the hall as she was buried in a red jersey jumper, pulling the hood over her white-gold locks. _Oh sweet Jesus_, I would never get tired of seeing this. It wasn't possible. She would always be the one to render me speechless.

The way the pale red worn red lay on her blond hair and contrasted her absolutely glowing bright blue eyes was so perfect I just stared, gasping faintly at the modern marvel in front of me. It was only a moment later that she realized one hand had kept us away from the doors and the other was securely around me. To my surprise, she didn't pull away immediately, but first gave a smoldering smile, full soft lips tugged around a dazzling white grin.

_Oh fuck. If she was straight from heaven, my thoughts would send me straight to hell, it really isn't fair for her to have this kind of attraction._

Much to my reluctance, she did pull away, laughing so that my stomach twisted at the sound. She pulled me up, standing straight, and once my mind finally registered she was here, she was okay, confusion set in.

"Alright, Fitch?" she asked casually, not really looking as she brushed off her sleeves. I was silent for a second, not sure where to start.

"You were gone," I blurted out. She raised a brow in question and I didn't stop to think as I spoke. "You missed class. You haven't missed a class in years and I was worried. Katie was being a right bitch and I know she did something and after this morning I didn't know what hap-"

"Emily. I finally stopped and took a breath when her hand grabbed mine with a tug, shaking me out of my rambling. "JJ's starting rub off on you," she said with a smile, "I'm fine." How could she be smiling when before she was so...small? Naomi must have noticed my questioned look when she nodded at the two boys still throwing each other around.

"Decided I needed a smoke with Cook for a bit. He managed to convince me to skip out of class entirely, the tosser," she scolded him affectionately. "Probably for the best though, I feel bloody great I have to say." She took a deep breath, completely relaxing and it was then that I noticed she was right. She looked loads better since this morning. Worry was gone from her eyes and her lips were no longer pursed in remorse, they now sported a casual smirk that looked fucking perfect on her.

I felt some tension slip out of me then, fully feeling how worked up I had been. My eyes fell closed as I took a breath too, gathering my bearings, and calming down. She nudged my side lightly then, a smirk still playing on her lips, "Hey, we were about to go grab some food for break. Wanna come with?" A small warmth spread over my shoulders and settled over my chest as I finally let myself smile and nodded, not caring that I was staring at her eyes more intently than I should be. She turned toward the boys and gave a nod to the doors, Cook briefly acknowledging her before getting whacked by Freddie once more.

We both gave a laugh and I'll be damned if my throaty laugh I had always complained about before didn't sound absolutely lovely when wrapping around her own smooth high giggle. God, I've got it bad. _So fucking bad. _But when she placed a hand lightly, barely even touching me really, at the small of my back, guiding me through the crowd of people passing, I couldn't be bothered to remember what was bad. _Global warming? War? Yeah, sounds real bad, let's go with that. _Some kid rushed by and I stopped abruptly, pushing her nearer with added pressure from her hand as she released a warm sigh by my ear. I almost dropped on the spot from the sensation.

Somehow we actually made it outside on the green field (although how I did so coherently, I'll never know) and only just made it a few strides on before Cook was chasing Freddie shirtless, the dark-haired boy hollering something about 'bein' a fuckin' pussy' while spinning a shirt around as he ran from the sex-machine. I felt myself relax considerably, letting go of the nerves the blonde consistently spiked, reveling instead in the present ease she used to create in me such a long time ago. Gone were my own nerves and worry from earlier. If I closed my eyes, I swear I could picture the scene unfolding in front of me as a past memory that somehow was happening now. I was here now with her.

_I must be dreaming. Nobody pinch me. _

Grabbing some food actually consisted of Cook digging up cartons of take-out he had been so graciously thanked with from nailing one of the waitresses at the posh China Sun Inn up the road. Classy Cook as always, but hey, free is free and it was good food. Oh hell, with Naomi sitting next to me, close enough to touch and smiling at me every time I laughed at the ridiculous teasing boys, it was the best fucking meal I've had in months. I hadn't seen Effy since Literature and I left Katie in haste, she would kill me later I'm sure, but right now I couldn't give a damn. Everything was perfect.

Unfortunately, I was enjoying myself immensely which made the phrase 'Time Flies...' inevitable. A stroke of sadness hit me before realizing, _I still have Studio with her. _I couldn't help the grin that snuck up on my face. Naomi noticed as she came back from tossing the waste in the bins, but instead of mentioning anything, she just slipped her hands in her snug, denim skinny jeans (_so casually perfect_) and nodded her head to the building, offering to go back. As resistant as I was to go back, the aspect of spending one-on-one time (the class be damned) with the blonde seemed too good to be true. I joined her, a pep in my step as I strolled to her side.

We didn't say anything on the way back to class, but I caught her a number of times slipping small glances at me, her brows furrowing slightly each time she did so. It reassured me to know that although I was confused at what might be going through her head, her thoughts were off the time of last year. She was conflicted, undoubtedly so, I could tell she wasn't punishing herself. Not right now at least.

By the time were back in the main hall, slipping in with the once again crowding mass, I was starting to get on edge with the tiny looks Naomi was stealing from me. It wasn't annoying, but I didn't know what was bothering her, so I blatantly stared at her, ready for her piercing blue eyes to come my way again.

_Here goes nothing. Don't make a fool of yourself, Fitch. _

A few seconds later as we reached the class, she opened the door and paused before gesturing me inside silently. It was then that I caught her fully taking me in as I was passing through the threshold.  
>I wasn't ready.<p>

I was not ready _whatsoever_ for how intense her eyes locked on to me, but with a massive effort, a pulled myself out of my unsteadiness and managed to focus my head enough to turn on (what I hoped was) my full-fledged adoring, flirty face. Spilling into my biggest smile and my biggest bambi eyes, I turned to her beaming and leaned close to her, careful to not get too close in case my own resolve faltered, and whispered a hushed, "Thanks," before walking to our bench.

_Our bench. Ours. _

I bit my lip fiercely, repelling both the smile breaking in and the idea that anything besides the bench would be ours. Hoping that she hadn't seen me, I chanced a look at Naomi and saw her completely flushed, the heat settling beautifully in her flustered cheeks. My breath hitched a moment at the sight before I felt a smug confidence arise at how the odds had evened out: I wouldn't be the only one flushed at will anymore. People were mostly in now as the hardened teacher swooped in the door and I savored the moment before deciding to put the blonde out of her misery.

"Thank you for earlier, it was much needed," I whispered, leaning over the bench. The pink had slowly faded from her cheeks as they pulled into a smirk when she leaned over slightly as well.

"I should be thanking you. You were worried for me and it wasn't even your job to. I haven't had someone concerned about me in ages and I forgot how nice it feels. You know, to be wanted and such," she said honestly, only to blush once more.

_Oh God, you have no idea. Yes, Naomi, you _are_ wanted. Far too much. _

"Well maybe it's time that changed a bit? The boys obviously love being around you and I guess you and Ef are even talking a bit, which is a bloody miracle so you must be doing something right. And Panda and Thomas enjoy being around you so, I mean, you have everyone here... maybe it's time to let someone else in again so they can...help you feel...wanted..." I trailed off.

I couldn't continue because I knew we were both thinking about the same thing. _I _had been that person she let in, at least I was a long time ago. I wanted her, and although I still do, I couldn't find the words to ask for her back. Too much had changed. My heart physically ached at the idea of pouring my desire into the request, any ounce of bravery stuck out on the line to take me back, only to be denied point-blank. I blanched at the thought and started to feel nauseous.

"And you?" she whispered quietly, pulling me back.

"Me?" It took all of my effort to keep my voice from wavering at the question. My head was starting to spin.

"How do you...you feel..." I finally found some courage to look at her, only to find the azure pouring through me already. "around...me?..." she breathed out the words under her breath so quietly I almost missed it. My throat was parched and the room was starting to spin along with my head. Whether it was from her question or my own nerves or something else entirely, something was starting to rattle me up a lot, but I still couldn't find the effort to focus on anything but the words I just heard and the instantaneous answer I had thought about for months.

_I've missed you. With you, I'm safe, I'm okay. I'm shaking here alone because you're my rock and I'm a fucking mess without you. _

"Naomi, I...I-I mi-"

"Right then, you two in the back," snapped a voice in the front. With a exasperated sigh, my head whipped up to see stern faced grey haired woman pointing straight at me in the back. "Since you feel so inclined to find your socializing more important than actually learning the correct body proportions here up FRONT," she said accusingly, "perhaps you can demonstrate for the class some simple positions so that those who wish to excel in their talents can do so." I was very confused. What did she want?

I heard a small 'oh fuck' under a breath when I saw Naomi stand up from her chair and grudgingly start walking to the front of the room, somehow looking both tall and confident in stature but hesitant and unsure in her walk. _Vulnerable._ I kept my eyes on her until she was all the way up to the front.

"You as well, Ms. Fitch, I did say the two of you now," the teacher responded, no longer annoyed but interested in whatever this was instead. Fuck, she wanted me up there too? Great. I usually don't mind speaking in class or sharing but that was different. Most times people didn't even listen and weren't paying attention, but _this, _this was different. This was art and whatever was happening involved everyone's eyes up on us and paying attention. Actually giving a fuck. Damn it.

I made myself small and enclosed as I made it to the front of the room, completely unlike Naomi. I didn't dare to look at the beautiful blonde after not finding the opportunity to answer her question fully. Instead I took the chance to stand next to her, eyes firmly locked on the ground. Somewhere in the back of my dizzy mind, it registered how lovely her red sneaks looked next to my black flats. The woman spoke again, fully interested in whatever would happen now.

"Perfect, now seeing as you two are a bit, er, _skewed_ in height, let's see if we can't do something to accent it rather than even it up. Hmm," as she circled around the both of us, eying us up and down as if she was planning to eat us, "a back to back position would be ideal but this shouldn't just be a sketched assignment. We need to model you with some form of emotion," she was now speaking out to the rest of the class who murmured some hummed agreement. Fuckers. Something clicked in place then.

_Sketch assignment? Models? They're going to draw us?_ _Oh shit bollocks fucking dick cunting no no no please __**no**__. _

The woman stroked her jaw as if deep in thought. My thoughts were everywhere with my spinning mind. The room was spinning. I didn't have any room to breathe. But I didn't want to cause a scene by backing out and raising her attention so I just decided to bear the nausea.

"Okay well let's do something simple with a hug. Is that alright with you girls?" I felt myself lean over before righting myself. _A hug? With Naomi? Do you want me throw up? Oh God, no you can NOT throw up on her. Jesus, shit, okay. You can do this. Tell her you can do this. _I nodded smally at the woman and as I finally looked up I saw Naomi do the same, unwavering, the white-blonde locks swaying slightly. So fucking stunning, I don't understand.

"Good well, lets have Ms. Fitch with arms around the waist, not too tight now, and hmm yes Ms. Campbell you are a fair bit taller aren't you? Well I didn't account for that, but it shouldn't be a problem, let's see how arms just around the shoulders works, yes just covering her, perfect." Neither of us had moved on our own. We let the grey-haired woman (I should really find out her name soon) move us around, keeping arms and bodies in place until I actually made contact with the blonde.

The second my hand rested lightly on the side of her slim waist, I held my breath. I didn't dare breath, not even a little, because I knew just how erratic it would be being so close to her. Already threatening my sanity, I placed another hand even lighter on her hip as the other one smoothed around her waist so my arm was firm against her back. My breath hitched at the small dip where her spine kept her standing tall and I struggled to keep my shivers at bay. The other arm followed suit as I was thoroughly wrapped around her, and although I was shitting bricks at the nerves and nausea and the obvious proximity, I couldn't help but relax into her a bit.

_It feels safe with her. Feels like home. _

Home was out the window by the time she lifted her own arms and I found myself pressed fully against her. And oh Christ, did I feel _everything. _I could feel her shoulders tense and her stomach warm against my own, soft and gentle pressure. I could feel her hips line the edge of mine, entirely protective of the body in front of her. A body so lucky I couldn't believe it was my own. When she finally wrapped her arms around my shoulders, not touching me until I was fully encased in her grasp, I let out the breath I had been holding.

I'm sure she felt it. I have no doubt she felt something, because after it was released, my head swooned at her arms gripping me fractionally tighter, unnoticeable to everyone else in the room, but enough to send a chill through me as my breath hitched once more. Back and forth it went, shaky breaths and tightening reassurances, before I could feel my face, turned to my cheek, pressed against her chest. Light heat steadily breathed atop my head and I closed my eyes, feeling the faint but full beat aside my jaw. The same beat I could feel in my ears.

As heavenly as I was in the current state, the light-headedness wasn't backing down. I was grateful to be held so surely, not because of the absolutely striking woman holding me, but slightly due to the fact that I might have fallen over. A cool wave passed over my hair and I frowned slightly before realizing Naomi was moving her head to the side of my own. A warm breath spreading over the tip of my ear, her jaw smoothly flush against my pounding temple, and the shivers had returned entirely.

"Em?" she hushed soundlessly. My arms tightened around her marginally so in acknowledgment, and an involuntary sigh passed through me with the return of my nickname which had been abandoned so long ago.

"I don't want to let anyone in," she said silently and my heart dropped as I froze. _Not again. I can't do this again. Twice will end me. _I shut my eyes as tight as they could, blocking it out. Blocking everything out but the feeling of her arms around me. I know she felt my instant stiffening because I felt her body relax, softly pressing more against me.

"I don't want any more people to know me," she started and I fought to swallow the lump in my throat, my shoulders starting to burn from tension. The floor was starting to flow like waves under my eyes and I didn't realize how tightly my arms had captured her waist. I squeezed her tighter. I almost let out a defeated sigh building in my chest, before she actually ghosted her lips to my ear, "One is enough." I couldn't breathe anymore, my lungs were giving such shallow pants that practically no air was coming or going.

"And I'd quite like her back." That was it. My stomach flipped entirely at the last words. My throat closed, basically on fire from the tension and stifled gasps, A huge shudder ripped down my spine before my body relaxed, my arms slipping loosely. The room was no longer spinning, it was completely swirling- up, down, inverted on it's side- and it was even worse in my head. I couldn't stay up anymore. Everything went limp and I vaguely remember falling backwards, the dizziness hitting nerves everywhere in my body, before my eyes met Naomi's- startled, scared, with piercing azure ardor- and they fluttered to a close. I could feel something strong around me, enveloping me entirely as a warm feeling spread over me, _safe. _

The world went black and my mind saw blue.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hey alllllllll and this may or may not be a filler chapter...*ducks in cover* I really was intending to do a frickin' huge like 15K word chapter but then I realized that probably would be too much to process plus I haven't updated in weeks and I feel Naomily deprived. Naomi gets a wake up call here and no this isn't the party scene but hey, there's literally like 4 hours til the party so I've basically guaranteed it next chapter! Anyway I hope you like this one, and you're all having a lovely day!**

**To resinswhy asking about time...this is basically beginning of their last year of college. Naomi and Emily have a blurry harsh history that has nothing to do with them as a couple but all other characters are basically the same as the show. **

**Also last thing: big THANK YOU to everyone who reviewed, followed and faved; the more I write the less I feel like people are interested in our girls so its a struggle to keep going with it but you guys help more than you know, honestly. Even a quick few words makes my day :)**

Disclaimer: Mine? Nope. *sigh* Mrs. Jolson? Hell yeahhhhhh

When Words Fail

Ch 6

Naomi POV

_She's fucking heavy for someone so small. _

Okay, so the first thought going through my head may have been a little dickish (okay a lot) but one second she was completely level with me, the only weight coming from the pressure of her grip around my waist, and the next, I'm holding up an entire person just by the shoulders. An entire Emily. Passed out quite literally in my arms. Suddenly, those prior thoughts didn't seem as important, real concern lying with how she ended up unconscious in the first place. A shot of anxious adrenaline pierced up my chest, tensing my arms still tight around her.

When her eyes started rolling back before they closed, I knew something was wrong. It was only after she had fainted did I realize how pale she was. How completely white and small she looked under her vibrant red hair. It hurt to watch and I didn't like seeing her like that, not at all.

She went limp and I know I should have laid her down as she fell back, but she would be on display. Some specimen to view by others in surprise and some embarrassing pity and I didn't want that. I didn't want it for her because she was better than that and deserved more than to be a gossip story in the halls. And somehow, I knew she wouldn't want that either. So instead of lying her down, I drew her even nearer to me. Letting her weight fall across my body leaned back. I stayed there a moment gathering my bearings before sliding one arm at a time from around her frail, slumped shoulders to her small waist, the other covering her back protectively.

It was becoming a habit I wasn't sure I was okay with lately- thinking about her, wondering what she was up to, if she was alright...if she was safe. After finally seeing days ago what I had suspected for the past couple of months, I was wrought with guilt and pain for the redhead. Pain that I put her through. Even if it wasn't direct, I knew _I_ was the one who had put those ugly marks on her skin. I had tainted her flawless pale complexion and inflicted so much hurt on this girl who deserved absolutely _none _of it. And now, she had to live with seeing the faded red scars like a fucking bar code on her wrist, branding her into a time of life that was fucking **terrible**. The worst part? She never knew the reason behind why I had sent those lines upon her in the first place- lines that branded her mine now.

And there was _nothing_ I could do to rid her of them.

My heart quivered, dropping at the horrible realization of it all as I tried not to let sadness and shock snake through my body. The real thing to focus on now was letting nothing hurt her like that again. Which included making sure the petite girl limp in my arms was alright.

Without even considering thinking about the class dissecting our stance or the teacher walking around viewing the works, I shifted the arm around her back lower to her mid-waist, and leaned her to the side gently, letting her head lull down until I pulled her close again, so her cherry red locks rested softly between my shoulder in the crook of my neck. Her silent, warm exhales sent a chill down my spine, and I can't deny it felt soothing against my skin.

I bent down slightly taking my other arm free and smoothing the pale red dress down behind her thighs, taking care to make sure it wouldn't shift up and ruffle. I let my fingers lightly grip a patch of skin just below mid-thigh, lining the hem of her dress, and pulled her up entirely, cradling the redhead in my arms. Somehow she didn't seem so heavy anymore. Wrapped up and curled loosely into me, she seemed kind of perfect. I felt a small push under my jaw then, following against my collarbone before I realized she had nuzzled in to me and gave a small unconscious sigh. My stomach quivered with something like butterflies.

_She's passed out. She's not thinking. She's just a friend and it doesn't mean anything. Don't think anything of it. She's a girl, you know this isn't what's right. This isn't you._

Steady reassurances pulsed through my head at Emily's small action and although I was used to these constant, instinctive thoughts, I was surprised when I couldn't help another voice creeping in now, changing the game.

_She may be a girl, but she's Emily. This is you and Emily. You are Naomi Campbell, the label-free, no fucks given kind of girl. And you hurt her. Don't you owe her to at least be kind and not shut her out? You do. You know you do, you coward. So stop thinking. Do what you want. Live the impulse. _

I had hesitated a brief second after picking the redhead up, but after feeling a silky lock of crimson fall across my jaw, my mind was made up and I swiftly turned on my heel and made my way to the door, promptly ignoring the number of stares and slack jaws coming from everyone else. The teacher, Mrs. Jolson I think, was standing by the door already and pulled it open wordlessly.

I stopped in front of the doorway for a moment turning to her in question, and was about to ask for permission (as ridiculous as it sounds, I did have a habit of teachers pet for ten years to break) but she didn't let me get a word out before she held up a hand and her face softened.

"I know," she said quietly, "just come back before the day is over to let me know how she is, alright Naomi?" I nodded and started to walk again, going slowly through the doorway and pulling Emily tight into me so that I wouldn't accidentally bump her into the sides of the wall. A few steps later through the bright deserted hall and I heard the door close with a click behind me. A faint thudding came from behind me as well and I was surprised to know whose steps they were despite talking with her so minimally.

"Shouldn't you be in class?" I said, slightly out of breath.

"Shouldn't you be thanking me?" I stopped at her ridiculous words and half turned, letting the girl floating down the hall catch up to me. With the rays of sun slipping down through the high windows, it was the first time I let myself really look at her. Despite the usual cloud of smoke around her, her face was open.

Her expression so obviously said _You can't touch me. Don't try to. _She had flawless skin, long dark brown hair put away from her face just enough to make her beautiful. A lazy mask on her made it seem like her appearance was effortless. Everything about her- from the way she walked to the things she said- screamed desirable, even when she dressed in black from head to toe. Effy wore her back-cut black singlet, letting an obscene number of black bracelets dangle on her arms, and her far-too-short skirt, also black, with fishnet stockings providing a skimpy covering for her long legs.

The only thing that was obviously out of place were her deep blue eyes. The only thing that gave any form of emotion away. And in the sun, walking isolated with no one else watching her, she looked...sad. Tired and worn. Her usual I-don't-give-a-fuck mask was on but her eyes gave her away and it made me think she wasn't the flawless girl she was made out to be.

Even more out of place then was the bright yellow bag she had shouldered over her own dark pack, _Emily's bag. _I had left everything in the room, so I couldn't help but wonder how she got her bag, let alone how she even slipped into the class unnoticed.

I was about to ask but she had passed in front of me already, not slowing her lazy stride, and mumbled something that sounded faintly of 'you coming, twat?'

"Why are you here?" I asked, taking a few longer strides to catch up, "How did you know about her, you know..." I motioned to the girl in my arms, breathing deeply.

"I wanted a smoke," she said simply, not even looking over at the two of us. I didn't say anything, still confused how that explained anything at all. After a few moments of quiet, she indulged me, saying, "There's a corner outside around the art studio." I hummed in acknowledgment, still a bit curious, but she beat me to the punch.

"I've been hearing all about your adventures in that class from that one," she mentioned, finally looking at Emily and nodding at her, "So I thought I'd see what the fuss was about." I finally stopped thinking about the brunettes arrival in the room and now focused on the curiosity of what the redhead had been saying. She smirked at me before I had a chance to answer, with a teasing, "Oh, wouldn't you love to know." Of course Effy would have guessed.

"Actually, I would like very much to know what's going on behind my back, to you of all people," I snapped, a bit snarky. It was unnecessary- the rudeness- but her taunting was getting a bit much and really I _was _dying to know what they had talked about. What Emily had said anyway. Was she upset we were in the same class? Did she feel weird seeing me everyday? Did she want to see me at all? Should I be talking to her as much as I had? Did she tell Effy that she thought it was a bit weird I was talking with her? Should I have just left her alone after last year? Was I making things worse?

I suddenly got very nervous, and flicked my glance to the small girl in my arms. I felt myself tense, suddenly feeling like it wasn't my place to be holding her this close, this carefully. I scolded myself a bit for the fucking gall I had in class. I actually had the nerve to ask for her back! After everything I screwed her over with, I half hoped she would still come back. Each step I took got heavier and harder to follow through with, having nothing to do with the tiny redhead perched in my arms.

"Stop it." I turned to her words, pulling out of my head a bit. "I can hear you thinking. More like worrying. Don't." I seethed silently.

"You don't know anything about it," I huffed under my breath. Effy swiveled from her path a step or so ahead so that she stopped dead in place right in front of me, causing me to bump Emily into her a bit. I scoffed at her direct action, and glared at her when the twin's arm fell down in the air between Effy. Blue eyes bore into mine for a long moment, and I realized a stand-off with a Stonem would do us no good. She could have done me in, I have no doubt, but looked away and instead, gently pulled up the tiny girls arm and tucked it back around her waist toward me.

A small shift made me think the redhead was stirring, but when her arm was tucked back over her, the small hand found my shirt and bunched it it up, pressing her palm to the navel of the fabric. She sighed a deep breath and a familiar push under my jaw made its way up again. Something a lot like her comforting nuzzle. Something churned in my stomach a lot like butterflies. She settled again, breathing deeply, now latched on to me.

A small smile stayed hidden from the brunette but it was a wasted effort when I looked up from the redhead to meet her blue eyes. She shook her head lightly.

"Look at her," she stated softly, "and you tell me that this isn't exactly where she wants to be. That this isn't everything she wants."

I did glance down at the pale red dress laid easily across her tiny form and noticed marginally how she was twisted a bit of her own accord. Turned into me. A nervous swallow sounded in my throat, not gone unnoticed by Effy.

"You fucked it last year," she said bluntly and I cringed but stayed silent, knowing that I fully deserved it, "but you **have** changed, whether you like it or not. And _she,_" nodding to Emily, "for some reason _no one_ will understand, _she __**still **_wants you back. And I saw you in that class, the way you held her, that you_-"_

"No, it was just for mod-"

"Shut up, Naomi," she said blankly, "don't insult me." I swallowed again, feeling a bit belittled at how obvious she thought I was. But she was wrong, she still didn't know what had happened, and that changed _everything. _It wasn't that simple. But somehow she knew that too, as only a Stonem could. She gave a heavy sigh, uncharacteristic of her.

"I know there's something else. Something you don't talk about, or else you wouldn't have damaged her like you did before." A guilty tension weighed down over my shoulders, seeping in my gut. "But you could be good for her, if you _Get. Your. Shit. Together._" She emphasized the last few words with a bit of a warning, and when it came to my 'shit', she jabbed a finger hard in my chest.

I shifted at her painful gesture but the message got through nonetheless. We walked on in silence, slowing a bit as I started to struggle under the weight. Emily wasn't heavy in the slightest, but I definitely wasn't in shape so it was starting to get to me. I felt a bit uncomfortable after the (well-deserved) lecture I received from Effy, and felt a bit obligated to say something back about the whole thing. I was hesitant for a little while, before I tried to find the words.

"I...I am trying. Really, I am. But I've already, I mean she's been hurt and if I- I just- she doesn't deserve..." I trailed off in a huffing sigh, aggravated at my incompetence. "I might hurt her again," I settled on.

"Oh you will. I know you will," she replied simply. She left it there, walking in silence once more. The quietness wore on and a burst of anxiety shook me a bit as we walked. If she was right, I'd be better off just leaving her in Effy's watch. I shouldn't be anywhere near the redhead. We rounded a corner and came to the aid station, a nurse bustling around through the room paying us no attention.

"You'll fuck it up again because that's what you do," she said continuing on, "but this time it's your choice if you run...or if you stay to fix it. We already know what happens with the first option, don't we?" she said tersely, flicking her sight to the tiny arm bunching my shirt. To what tainted the skin underneath. I met her cold blue eyes and it was obvious to see that if I did indeed run again, if I did hurt her _twice, _I would thoroughly regret it. Effy would make sure of that. She gave a light sigh, bored if I didn't know any better, and put the bag down on the counter as we passed through the doorway, now the object of interest as a red faced woman fussed over Emily and I mumbled something about nausea and a weak stomach bringing her here.

"You should head out," the brunette said finitely as I brought the twin to a small bed, the nurse in the other room looking for medical kits. I looked back at her in some incredulous fashion, not really expecting her to be serious as she _just _told me not to be the one to run again. Leaned against the wall, pulling a smoke from a really posh pack, she lit up and nodded at me, reassuring her statement.

Before I could call her out on her fucking contradictions, she stated bluntly, "I've texted Katie. She's already on her way here. Would you like to stay for a nice little get-together?" I paled at her words and gulped. Fucking hell. It was bad enough asking Katie about the coursework for class, if she saw me around Emily, white and passed out, I don't think I'd make it home alive. She wouldn't hesitate to pound the living shit out of me. I shuddered. "She will be fine. Kay and I will make sure of it. Now fuck off while your head's still attached to you, twat. I need you alive for my party," she joked with a smirk.

I smiled, resigned to my quick exit, and made my way to the door. I paused, turning back for a second to see the small girl now curled on her side, red hair draped over her cheeks that were slowly returning their color. I felt a heavy sigh wash over me, not quite sure if it was from her frailty or something else.

One last look at the smoker and I found the words strong enough in my throat to come out with a meek, "Will you let me know when she comes around? So I can, um..." She gave a single sure nod, and with a flicker of crimson crawling on the peripheral, I headed out back to class to keep Mrs. Jolson updated on everything. I only just disappeared around the corner into the brightly sunned hall before a shriek voice called out in the room I was just in, "_Oh my fucking god, are you fucking kidding?! Those things will __kill__ you, no wonder she's gone so white, bitch! Put the damn thing out, before I make you swallow it!" _

I silently thanked Effy's all-seeing disposition to get me out of there in fucking time, although I had a feeling she wasn't so lucky herself. I quickened my pace, not eager to be caught at the scene with the elder twin, and headed back to class, heaving at the thought of sitting at the ivory bench without wisps of red lining my edge of sight.

…...

A few hours later, after a very awkward studio class, a very understanding teacher, and a surprisingly enjoyable walk home in the sun, I was lying on my back on the floor in my room, the window thrown completely open, looking over some politics readings and enjoying the time while the house was quiet. Mum had taken everyone who was currently staying with us out to some rally in Bedminster and threatened that if they wanted a nice place to stay in for awhile, they would be 'kind enough citizens to join her in objecting the treachery the industries were so thoughtlessly promoting.' As expected, they _had _so graciously joined her and the house had a lovely late summer air with a beautiful overwhelming silence. I had just taken a break, kicking my feet up on the bed and enjoying the breeze ruffling the curtains, when a muffled ping rung and I dug my mobile out from the skin tight pocket. An unknown number popped up, yet I recognized it from somewhere before. I flipped open the phone and opened up the message.

"_Hey, Ef gave me your number, I hope that's okay._

_Heard you took me to the nurse, wanted to say_

_thanks. She also said Katie was there so by now _

_I'm just checking you're still alive lol. Lemme know? :)_

_-XxEmilyxX"_

My face cracked into a grin that I tried to hide, and then I scolded myself that no one was there to catch me smirking anyway. I took a few moments to think a response up, staring at the ceiling and tapping my thumbs together on the phone. Focused on not bringing up the mood just before she passed out. I decided a light response would work best. I thumbed away.

"_Hey, you survived then? ;) Good because _

_if Effy expects me to get smashed tonight, _

_I'm dragging you down with me. I'm alive now, _

_no promises with my hangover tomorrow..._

_-xxNaomixx-"_

I hit send and only cringed after the fact that I realized Emily probably wouldn't be drinking, given the fact that she blacked out today. _Very smooth Campbell, very smooth... _

I frowned at my idiocy for a few moments before another ping rung out and I snapped my phone open. A bit too eager perhaps, but hey...no one wants to do politics readings right? Right.

"_Guess it's a blaze of glory for us then. ;) Katie_

_couldn't care less as long as there's no _

_smokes. Apparently even Effy gets spooked_

_by her lol it didn't go well earlier..._

_Smashed it is :)_

_-XxEmilyxX"_

I chuckled wryly it the elder twins quirks and was reminded of yet another reason why we didn't (wouldn't ever) get along. I sent one back quickly, already needing to fix my error in judgement.

"_As much as it would be great having_

_a few drinks with you, are you sure you _

_should be doing that? After today _

_especially? I mean two knock outs in one _

_day isn't a record you should strive for :/_

_-xxNaomixx-"_

I decided to change into a sleeveless top, taking full advantage of the unusual weather seeing as it was, as usual, supposed to start raining later tonight. I hauled myself off the ground, a ping ringing out a second later as I had my shirt off. I flopped on my bed in just my bra and dark jeans, flipping the phone open once more.

"_True, but I'll be okay if I limit myself, I _

_think. Besides it's been a long week and we _

_all need a bit of a party before college really_

_kicks in. It'll be a bit like old times right? :)_

_-XxEmilyxX"_

Another ping rung out seconds later.

"_Ef said you did good when things went _

_to shit for me today :)_

_So with you there, what's_

_the worst that can happen? _

_-XxEmilyxX"_

A shiver ran through my spine throughout my body that had nothing to do with my bare torso or the breeze rolling in.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: So after dropping off the face of the planet I'm back! I hadn't forgotten about my baby fic, just getting hammered with Uni work lately and testing...oof. Sooo this actually doesn't have too much Naomily andddd may or may not be at the party yet. In my defense, I was going to write some massive 25K+ word chapter but apparently thats a bit lengthy and frowned upon so hence the split updates. But party should be up in less than 100 hours. So countdown that shit. **

**In other news, I have to shoot a quick word out to KayEff for her review. I was having a god-fucking-awful day when your timing with sending it helped me avoid a breakdown...so virtual hugs and kisses for you xoxo**

**Pleasant pairing surprise near the end to soothe your inner lovelinessssss :) As always, feedback does make me an incredibly happy soul. Enjoy!**

When Words Fail

Ch 7

Emily POV

I slammed the door shut letting the finalized close of it finally relax me. For some reason the house was even more chaotic than usual. I'd been dragged in the door earlier against my will with Katie's arm around my waist for 'obvious fucking reasurement bitch' and effy right behind me, in case I involutarily passed out again. They were being ridiculous. I mean, fucks sake, I had been fine for over an hour, awake and alert, not even a bit fatigued, and yet they still hovered like fucking vultures. It's not like it was going to happen again. Not around them. (I hope...)

Effy finally left me in Katie's protection after threatening that since I'm so unwell, I might as well not show up tonight. She narrowed her eyes at my blackmail with a glare that would have anyone else squirming on the spot but not me- not after I've known her for years- I gave her a smug smirk and nodded my head to the door, inviting her exit. Katie seemed sour for a bit after she left, ('God Ems, d'you have to be _such_ a dozy cow?! It's her fucking birthday!')

She was just beginning to leave me be and find interest in some beauty magazine when the door opened, letting forth two blundering little boys (our favorite perv and his perv friend Gordon) screaming up the stairs and mum teetering in the doorway, arms full of grocery bags. I sighed and instinctively raised to help her. I swiped one out of her arms as it was about to topple down and she sighed in relief at my perfect timing. We just got into the kitchen when Katie lept out of her seat blurting out,

"Mum, Emily blacked out at college today! It was so bad we had to take her home. She was white as a ghost."

I glared at her, wishing twin telepathy thing could also work with sending out digs of pain. Apparently we were not going to keep this quiet after all... Mum just looked between the two of us unmoving, not really sure how to act or what to say. She turned to me with eyebrows raised, asking in a calm but tight voice, "...is this true?"

I turned to Katie, looked her dead in the eye, and said slowly, "Katie's just exaggerating. I must've had something bad during lunch but it's not a problem now, I was just dizzy for a while, right Kay?" Mum turned to look at her, and with her black hair facing me now, I made a curving motion with my hand at Katie in warning, enjoying the way her eyes flickered with surprise before putting a straight face on.

"Uhm...yeah, I suppose. She's...much...better now," she squeezed out through gritted teeth. It was all I could do not to burst out laughing at her sudden compliancy. See, a few months ago we got locks for the door to our room, but somehow James found the key when we were away at college and we caught him once perving on us changing before morning classes. The little shit finally handed our key back after his ear was nearly ripped off, and hadn't done anything in ages, but that still didn't keep him from trying to peep through the keyhole. With my silent threat of giving James the key, especially since Katie had been recently fond of bringing that fucking loser Danny in for a afternoon rumble, she became rather excellent at playing along.

It did the trick and got our mother off the trail. Loud screams came emanating from upstairs and both Katie and I looked at each other before bolting upstairs and finding James and Gordon in our fucking room, _rifiling through our fucking knickers_. I would have kicked them out and cursed until their heads caved in, but Katie beat me to it, not even caring that Gordon was a guest (boy, was _that _a loose term) and didn't hesitate to shriek some _very colorful _choice phrases at them and grab them by their hair, even kicking James when he asked to keep a silky pair of hers.

In some very fast moments, Mum was on the phone, sounding _very _stern with a certain Mrs. MacPhaerson while Katie gladly screamed the incident (except this really wasn't an incident was it?) to Dad who had just came in. With James whining about all the things Gordon got to do, Katie and dad yelling, Mom scolding loudly and Gordon near shitting his pants with pleads, I felt a certain dizziness come about again, this time from an inevitable migraine, and threw the door shut with a dramatic sigh.

I trudged over to the bed and flopped down, curling up on my side and tucking my knees up a bit before feeling something dig into my hip. I dug out my mobile and put it down on the bed in front of me. I just stared at it for a bit, letting the recollection of its use an hour ago plaster a growing smirk to my face. I felt tired, really fucking tired after today, not realizing how much it took a toll on my body, and yet I still couldn't bring myself to care.

_She texted back. _Yes, I'd gotten her number (from an all too willing and smug Stonem might I add) and sent something first but for some reason, I couldn't shake how happy I'd felt after Naomi had _actually texted me back._ I had no guarantee she would in the first place, and I was worried that maybe she was just being polite and kind, civil even, in college, but her same adorable attitude- with sarcasm and smiles- had been carried on. She didn't answer the last two messages I sent, so instead while I was in the car with Effy (she wouldn't let me take the moped home. Damn.) I finally did gather the meeting details for tonight.

I sent them off to the blonde with a small, but extremely hopeful (on my part),

"_Hope this helps! I'll see you soon :) -XxEmilyxX"_

Her response was small but enough to make me bite my lip in anticipation and excitement.

"_Perfect. Can't wait :) -xxNaomixx"_

I looked out the window at the thick grey clouds, ready to burst at any time. The only question was when, and really nobody knew, but when they did, everyone was going to feel it. Everyone would be able to see it and feel it and I knew then it was only a matter of time before the same thing happened with me around my beautiful blonde. And by the looks of it, it was going to be soon.

My eyes drooped closed, ignoring the mass of chaos just downstairs, and I found myself overcome with a dreamless sleep.

…...

It was dark when a light shaking brought me from my warm slumber. I turned slightly around only to be blocked by Katie's form sitting on the edge of the bed, the outline of her arm on my shoulder being the only thing recognizable in the dark room.

"Hey," she said quietly, some worry evident from her more pronounced lisp, "Mum had dinner a while ago but I told her you needed some rest. I was just checking if you wanted to stay in tonight. You don't have to go, I'm sure Effy will understa-"

"No!" I exclaimed a bit too quickly. I cleared my throat awkwardly and insisted, "No, I, uh, I'll go. Effy will kill me if I don't. I just needed some shuteye, but yeah, I'm-I'm all good. Really." She paused for a second or two, debating my response before the bed lifted and the room was blinded by light. I cringed down into the covers, throwing my hands over my face.

"Jesus Christ Katie! What the the fuck?!" I said, tearing up at the sudden contrast I was thrown into. Apparently, since I was fine now, I-don't-give-a-fuck-Katie was back in charge and she started rifling around the room for bits of clothing, still in mess from the boys' manhunt.

"Get up, loser. It's already eight thirty. If you want to look remotely decent, since you _are going, _then do something about that mottled mess you're laying in," she said nodding to my rumple of clothes and hair flown around ever since laying on the bed.

"I'm taking a shower and I _swear to God _if you give James the fucking key, I'll punch the red right out of your hair," she threatened and I couldn't help but smile.

"Oh Katie," I said sweetly, "he can't help himself. You _know _he's 'a healthy young man with a natural curiousity for the female anatomy'. Besides, you keep bragging that you've got the best tits in Bristol, so it's only natural he wants to see the best of the best," I mocked, and I had to duck as she threw some lipstick across the room with some impressive force.

She stormed out the door, towel in hand, and muttered loud enough to hear a surly, 'Dosy bitch, don't you fucking dare..."

I laughed and relaxed a bit, finally stretching and shaking the sleep off when I heard the shower go on across the hall. Good. So I had about forty minutes before Katie came in. Plenty of time to creep through her closet and see if I can steal something that looks really good. Don't get me wrong, I love my own clothes, and I feel great in them, but I really wanted to look sexy tonight, like a smouldering jaw-dropping sexy. I usually didn't try this hard, just letting my own confidence do the work for me, but tonight was Effy's birthday and I really wanted to make a hell of an impression for...Effy. For...her birthday. Of course. Right.

(And potentially the already stunning blonde that makes my heart skip a bit. Kind of. Maybe, perhaps.)

So I started sorting through Katie's MOUNTAIN of outfits. Honestly, it should be illegal for one girl to have this many clothes. What was even more surprising was how much she managed to fit all of it in some type of orderly fashion and could find anything at a moment's notice. I couldn't even find the closet light. A few grimacing leopard skirts and skin-tight dresses later, and I was ready to give up. Maybe this wasn't a good idea. I'd been trying to get out from under Katie's reign for a while now and wearing her clothes were just going to put me right back where I had always been. Forever the doormat. Forever the following twin. No, not again. I heaved a heavy finalizing sigh as I looked at the ground.

"Scavanging again, Emsy?"

I nearly gave myself whiplash for how quickly my neck snapped around. Katie leaned on the doorway, towel in hand drying off the damp bits of hair and silent as a cat. It wasn't my surprise from her that caused me to be stunned, it was the fact that she could stay that quiet in the first place to set the fright on me. This was loud, boisterous, let-everyone-know-that-I-am-here Katie and never had I heard her arrive somewhere without a half mile warning. So of course, I said nothing, just staring at her slightly with raised brows.

"I'm not blind you know. It's pretty obvious why you're digging through my clothes since your lezzer get up isn't going to cut it." I had the decency to blush at the truth to that statement, but I couldn't help the instinctive denial that came with years of Katie's prodding into my intentions.

"Actually I was just wondering if you nicked my top...because, well I haven't seen it in a bit, and I was-um- looking...for it?" Even I shrunk back with how pathetic I sounded. She quirked one brow with her crossed arms, disbelief showing at any situation that would involve Katie borrowing clothes from _me. _She was completely right, but I couldn't help it. It was a habit of hiding everything from her.

"Oh? You mean the lezza hatch shit that I wouldn't be caught dead with?" I looked away and sighed as I had not only been caught but also pinned with the sarcasm. And yet again, Katie surprised me- not taking the piss but rather taking a long sigh and making her way to my own side of clothes and rifling through them. She pulled out my dark denim jean shorts- the ones that were so skin tight, you couldn't even pinch them away from my legs- and went to the dresser to pull a few pieces of silver bracelets and small silver earrings. She held it all as she walked back to her own closet without saying a word, and pulled from under the second pile of clothes near the floor a cobalt blue top, sleeveless and slimming. And one of my favorites to be honest. She put it all together and came in front of me, handing it out but as I reached out to take it with thanks, she gripped my wrist instead, not tightly but with obvious intent behind it.

"I know what you're after. And you've been down this road before, Emily," she said quietly. I didn't say anything but kept my eyes on her furrowed on hers, hearing her out. "I know you know better by now, that whatever you're doing, you have to be smart about it." She couldn't hold my gaze any longer, as she dropped her eyes to the ground below, "Please be smart about this Em, okay? I almost lost you before and I-I can't..." Her lisp was more pronounced as her voice began to crack and she wiped at her eyes quickly. Katie took a moment to breathe before she straightened up and looked back at me with a steely glare. "I don't like the dosy bitch as it is, and I can't say I'll openly let anything happen with you and her," I started to interrupt but she quickly continued, "But I swear to every fucking God under every shitty religion, if she does anything like she did last year _**again**__, _I will beat her senseless to where she won't be able to move for years." That did it.

"_**Stop**_ it. You _don't_ threaten her, Katie." I could handle listening to Katie's side of things before but with this, with picturing my beautiful blonde getting withered to a pulp...my fists balled at my sides.

"I'm jus-"

"No, I don't care that it's your way of showing you're looking out for me, _You don't _**fucking**_ threaten her," _I gritted, "If you want to be there for me, be there for _me- l_eave her out of things. It's not her fault," I reasoned. Unfortunately, that did Katie in.

"Not her fault?!" she shrilled, dropping the clothes to the floor. She was on me in an instant. "Not her _damned _fault?! Did you get smacked in the head, Emily? Or did you just conveniently forget _everything _that happened last year?" I didn't answer, just looking away instead, but Katie was released and she wasn't going to back down until she got her share out. "No? You don't? Well, I certainly fucking _did_. I remember seeing you lighter than a leaf for months where you had nothing but that permanent smile plastered on to your love-struck face." I knew where she was going with this but I couldn't move, couldn't speak, couldn't bring myself to stop her as I stayed there frozen just taking it. "I remember you going absolutely numb for over a week to the point where I nearly had to force feed you so you didn't drop on the spot. Not enough yet? I remember lying in bed night after night not getting a wink of sleep because I could hear you fucking sobbing into your pillow, trying to be quiet but really just breaking _my own _heart because I knew _nothing _I could say or do would make it better. More? Alright then, remember these?"

She moved swiftly before I knew what she was doing, she had her hands atop my own as she threw them around, wrists bared in front of us and I was forced to accept that she was right. The damage had been unvariably real and so fucking _brutal. _At seeing them again, she visibly paled and I saw some of the fight, some of the anger, trickle out of her.

"Don't you remember these, Emily?" she said with her hands under my wrists and brushing the raised marks with her thumbs gently. "Don't you remember that night? You were so...we almost... y-you..." Now was my turn to move and I flipped my hands to grab her own wrists in reassurance.

"I _know, _Katie. I remember. I know what she did, I know what happened, and I know what's going on now. But...Katie...you have to understand, she wouldn't hurt me. She just _couldn't_ do that. Not to me, not Naomi." Just at hearing her name glide off my lips, I felt myself relax.

_It feels safe with her. It feels like home. _

Katie scoffed at my logic but I paid her no attention. I was positive in my words. Naomi wouldn't ever just _hurt _me like that, not after everything. She didn't have it in her and I knew it, even if she didn't.

Katie gave a great sigh and I could practically see the tense mood lift into something lighter. She bent down to pick up the dropped bundle of clothes, flipping her hair in the process. "Just know what you're getting into Emsy. I don't wanna see you get hurt again...loser," she smirked at the end, keeping things light. I grabbed the clothes from her outstretched arms with one hand and wrapped the other around her as I pulled her into a tight hug. She smiled brightly, an 'I'm-just-Katie' moment (one I didn't see too often) before turning back to her own dresser and applying a more than healthy amount of lip stick to her pouted face. "Well get ready then bitch, it's already ten past nine. Eff's coming in less than an hour and you know what she's like with waiting." I gave a nod before beginning to change and get ready for the long night ahead.

…...

My mobile began to ring about an hour later and I just barely opened flipped it open before a very peeved voice chipped in,

"Tell me Emily, do you enjoy pissing me off or is it some innate ability you've uncovered? Because if you don't clear some space in your _fucking drive right now_, I won't even pay for the damage." And with that, the line went dead.

Well, Effy's here.

But there shouldn't have been anything in the drive, so I didn't know what was blocking it. Since I was ready to go anyway and was waiting on Katie who was pushing her tits up in her dress for the umpteenth time (fucking hyprocrite, telling me to hurry up) I headed down and opened the front door to the drive.

There in the middle of the drive (and yes, blocking everything) was a bright orange bike. Specifically, _my _bright orange sticker-plastered moped that I had left at school. I stared at it from the doorway in disbelief before stepping out with some slippers and closing the door behind me, careful not to make any noise leading in to the sitting room where mum was. It was a cloudy night and the potential rain made a slight chill in the air as I pulled the silk tighter around me. I made my way on the drive and saw a sticky note on the seat,

"_You should not drive or operate machinery _

_for at least 24 hours following a concusssion. _

_But I thought you'd want your baby back :) _

_-N"_

I couldn't help the face splitting grin working its way across my cheeks as I bit my lip and gave a shaky sigh, my stomach bubbling with butterflies. I ran my thumb over the words, imagining her writing it, trailing her hand over the paper as I went back over the edged N twice, pausing over the small curve on the bottom edge of the letter. I was still smiling like an idiot as I heard the steady thump work its way up the driveway, Effy in her usual black attire walking up to meet us, gleaming a bit from her new (and of course black) leather jacket. She slowed and stopped in front of the bike with a tilt to her head, asking the silent question.

"Naomi came by to drop my bike off after you dropped me and Katie back home." I said, my dry throat adding more husk to my voice.

"Katie and I," she corrected.

"Right," I agreed blankly, "Katie and I." It was quiet for a beat or two, both of us staring at the bike (her staring at me staring at the bike is more accurate) and letting the chill in the air wake us up a bit. She broke the silence first.

"Club soda worked then?" I stared blankly at her.

"What?"

"You've got the coffee out." Apart from Katie's admittedly great oufit she helped pick out (okay picked out for me) I decided the blue top would go really with the silky white cover Naomi wore that first day. I had washed it out and (yes, Effy) the club soda worked like a charm to get any beige stains out. I probably should have given it back by now but while I still had it, I thought why not use it to my advantage.

"Oh...um yeah I did, thanks for that by the way. Worked wonders for it." I give her a small smile before she eyed my torso up and down slowly. By the way the corner of her mouth peaked up, I knew she wasn't checking me out, but telling me instead I had been _found _out. Like she knew exactly where the shirt had come from.

To the shock of us both, I didn't move grow nervous under her gaze. I didn't shift around awkwardly, instead I actually stood up a little taller, a bit smug in the blondes clothes. The smooth sleeves probably went up to the Naomi's elbows when she wore it, but on me it lay comfortably around my forearm. I felt a smug smirk also rise up, which then heightened at seeing Effy's own surprised eyes. I tilted my head a bit, playing her own game.

"Shall we get Katie and be off?" I asked sweetly. She snuffed a laugh.

"Go on then, fetch the queen." I rolled my eyes, agreeing with her and made my way back inside, calling Katie once I was up the stairs. I kept the note in my palm the whole time. I told her Effy was up front and she left then, making her way downstairs fluffing the quiff as she walked out the door.

I went to our room and debated putting the note on our dresser before deciding to fold it crisply twice and sliding it into my front pocket. Keep it close for comfort. I grabbed my jacket on the way out, over the slim chance that we would be caught in the rain. When I closed the door behind me, I looked back out on the drive and looked at the two of them.

Katie was perched lightly on the seat, leaning on it's side with her hands together- an innocent pose contradicting her skin tight lavender gold dress- as she looked upwards towards Effy's standing form. Close for comfort. Effy stood with weight on one leg, her free foot curled around her standing ankle shifting from time to time. A decidedly interested pose for someone put off by almost everything in life. I knew Katie was happy to have a friend like Effy who could always listen when she needed to be heard, yet I couldn't help but think that Effy's offer to be there for her stretched a margin past friendly help.

Then again, I was probably imagining things.

A bright laughter pulled me out of my throughts and I saw both of their faces light up, Katie's laugh actually reaching her eyes- and even more surprising- Effy's genuine smile pulling back to show a gorgeous grin of white teeth. Where had she been hiding _that? _Her eyes were more alive than I had seen them in months and I was so glad to see her so radiant, especially on her birthday. I decided to prolong it for her as long as I could.

I walked up to the two of them and they turned to me with glowing smiles, not letting the mood be dampened. _Yeah, best not to get in the middle of that one. _

"If you two don't mind, I think I'll ride up there and grab our table before it gets full, yeah?" I said nonchalantly, already reaching for my helmet in the back of the seat. Katie was on me in an instant, her mood intact but some worry evident. She stood up from the seat, her six-inch pumps bringing her up to Effy's height now as they stood together away from the bike.

"Em, are you sure that's a good idea? Maybe you should let things rest for a while, you know? Besides Effy says it's close enough for a pretty decent walk..." she looked at me with wary eyes and behind her I saw Effy's own blue pierce mine, already handling things.

"She has a point, Katie, things get packed pretty quick. Besides she hasn't had any problems since we got her home, have you Em?" she asked looking at me. I quickly shook my head and agreed. "Well, we'll see you there in a bit then," she said with a smirk.

Katie gave a sigh and threw her arms around my neck for a brief moment, hushing in my ear a small 'Be safe' before turning away and heading off to walk, crossing her arms from the chill.

Effy caught my eye one more time as she shrugged out of her jacket, her smirk still intact. I couldn't help but shoot a wink at her smug demeanor before she went to match Katie's step and...wait, oh _fucking hell, _was that- no- oh but it was! A slight color on the brunettes jaw, moving on her cheeks. Guess I wasn't imaging everything these days.

I squeezed my helmet on my head, a snug look on my own face now, as I mounted the bike. Once started up, I sped down the street- the chill shooting through my bones and waking me up- and felt a laugh bubble in my throat as I caught them side by side before I rounded the turn.

Katie gleaming in a black leather jacket.


End file.
